Page 188 of Plug and Drain

“After you left, Henrikk used dark magic, adding the blood to the pike to bind me to your will. It was not clear to me at the time exactly how it would work. Henrikk only hinted at it, although he did use the word ‘indefinitely’. He then left the academy via the portal in my room. I waited a few hours just to be sure he wasn’t going to return before seeking you out. I wanted to warn you about the blood magic, but…” He licked his lips, looking both troubled and sheepish. “I never quite got the chance to. We talked about other things…about my past…and then you shushed me.”

Susie looked at him quizzically. “I what?”

“You shushed me. Playfully. It was endearing, really. But you said ‘shh’, and from that point on, I could not utter another word.”

Shock flared in Susie’s eyes. “You…literally could not speak?”

“That’s why I was so quiet.”

She scoffed in disbelief. “Can’t you have written it down on a piece of paper? There’s no shortage of quills and parchment in my room.”

“We were a little busy,” he reminded her. “And you gave me explicit instructions to kiss you. So, I did.”

Susie blushed. “I…That’s not quite how it happened.”

“Just kiss me, Arken,” he repeated. “Make no mistake, I’ve been wanting to kiss you like that from the moment I met you. But in that instant, my desire to kiss you became…obligatory.”

Susie winced, and Arken wished he could take back that last word, but it was too late to stop now.

“I also wanted to make love to you,” he continued. “And then you commanded me to—an order I was more than willing to obey.”

Susie’s blush had spread to her neck and chest. She shook her head profusely. “You should have stopped me, somehow.”

“I couldn’t. And I didn’t want to. I had no idea Henrikk would come back to Volmasque. Nor did I anticipate that he would have me followed, or perhaps he located your room on his own…”

Susie drew a sharp breath, and her voice was hollow as she recited Henrikk’s words: “This could not have been better arranged.” She looked at him in horror. “That’s what Henrikk was referring to. He realised you couldn’t speak. And when you tried to attack him, I told you to stop. I told you to stop and you couldn’t move. And you knew, you knew and…” She covered her face as it crumbled with tears, her voice growing anguished. “You knew, and you just had to stand there and watch…”

“Yes,” Arken whispered. “I tried. Please believe me, I tried. But I could not intervene. I could not even utter a word. Not until you tried to leave and fell to the floor—when you asked me a question.”

You left me to him. Why?

Those words had haunted him, and they would haunt him forever. Because he wasn’t enough. He hadn’t acted sooner. Hadn’t taken enough precautions. When it came to Henrikk, Arken was always, always too late to save the ones he loved.

Susie's shoulders shook as she began to cry.

Arken didn’t know what to do. He took a step closer, but he didn’t dare touch her as she sobbed. He’d suspected she would cry, but he didn’t have a clue how to handle it when she didn’t want him touching her. When he was the source of so much of her pain.

You’ve hurt her enough, you fool.

“I’m sorry,” he said, wishing his words to span the distance. “I’m sorry, Susanna. I’m so sorry. I’m so, so terribly sorry.”

“You knew,” Susie sobbed, her words barely coherent as she wiped at her face with her sleeves. “You knew, and you were forced to stand there and watch. You just stood there…you had no choice…you just stood…” A muffled wail tore from her lips as she flung herself at him.

Arken braced himself for the strike, but she didn’t hit him. Instead, she collapsed against his chest and broke, her breathing fast and rapid as her body trembled.

“Henrikk is a vile, evil monster. How could he do that to you? To us?”

“Shh, it’s all right, Susie,” Arken said, confused that her anger wasn’t directed at him. He stroked her loosely plaited hair over and over. “It’s all right. Everything will be all right.”

“And he taunted us. He even asked me to command you to intervene. I’m such an idiot—”

“Shh. Don’t say that. Don’t say that. You’re not an idiot. No one could ever think that of you.”

She made a strangled noise and looked up, squinting at him fiercely through red-rimmed eyes, her face streaked with tears. “I don’t understand. Why didn’t you just say something?”

Arken stared back in confusion. He’d already explained, hadn’t he? “Because…because, my dear, I couldn’t speak. I wanted to, and it was killing me not to. I…I failed you. And I will live with that shame forever. I couldn’t lift a hand against Henrikk to save you.” His nerve broke, and he dropped his gaze as tears filled his eyes, his shame seeping out of him like a poison that had finally been released. Too bad the patient was beyond help.

He couldn’t bring himself to look at Susie. “I…I couldn’t speak.”