Page 135 of Plug and Drain

But he deserved nothing in this life. He’d drawn the punishment out far longer than was necessary, until he was no longer inflicting pain to punish the professor’s crimes, but because…

“I couldn’t stop,” he admitted. “I didn’t want to. I punished him for all the wrong in the world that I couldn’t change. I punished him for my own failings. The worst of it is his suffering was pointless. It fixed nothing. But it changed me.”

“No…”

“Yes. I know it did, because Henrikk arrived at the end and said so.”

It had been dark and raining heavily. Arken hadn’t known how much time had passed as he knelt on the stone steps, his clothes and hair drenched with more blood than water. The students who’d been forced to watch had gone back inside to dry off and get ready for bed. So, it was just him and Atholomew, whose body had ceased breathing hours ago. Someone must have informed Henrikk because the King arrived a few hours later. He didn’t arrive by carriage, and at the time, Arken hadn’t known about the concealed portal in his office. He’d been beyond caring at that point about how Henrikk had suddenly appeared. It didn’t seem to matter. Arken’s soul had shattered on the steps, and it was a different kind of suicide to the one he’d once attempted from the top of the Wintermaw Keep’s tower.

He’d broken apart his soul with every cut and burn he’d administered to Atholomew, and he’d felt himself burn alongside him.

He was vaguely aware that Susie had moved closer, her arm rubbing gentle circles on his back, her claws pleasant through his shirt. He wasn’t wearing a waistcoat, and he could feel everything; shivery sensations and a sweet gentleness that made him want to weep.

If only she had the power to exonerate him.

She was an angel, but even she could not erase the past.

His voice croaked as he spoke. “Henrikk smiled when he arrived. He told me how pleased he was with me. Told me I had exceeded his expectations. In the years that followed, he rarely interfered with the running of the academy. He knew I was his. A broken soldier.”

A broken soldier who would forever march to the beat of a drum that no longer played.

He was shocked to see Susie’s eyes glistening with tears. “Arken, you are not broken. That is not what I see.” Her voice grew tight and full of emotion. “I’m glad you told me. And I’m glad you’re here…now.”

There was something in the way she was looking at him. It made him dare to ask the soul-burning question that had flared to life since he’d met her. “What do you see?”

She shuffled closer, warmth radiating from her body. He stayed perfectly still, his heart beating faster as she drew near. They were breathing the same air. Her face was close, her green-flecked eyes serious and full of wonderment as she met his gaze. “A saviour.”

Chapter 33

Vulnerable

Susie

Arken had always been a powerful presence at the academy. Not that she’d ever seen him flaunt his power, but he’d exuded a predatory grace whenever he strolled through the halls, humming to himself as if he didn’t have a care in the world. She’d thought him nonchalant, unobservant, and even negligent in his duty of care to his students.

He seemed different now. Had he changed? Or had she just been blind to him?

Even that first night, when he’d come into her bedroom, he’d been extremely attentive. He was aware of her every breath, and he’d touched her methodically and ever so gently, adjusting his motions based on her responses.

It had not been a good night for her. But it might have been, under different circumstances. They might have had a chance.

Maybe we still do.

Arken had handled her so delicately as he lowered himself onto the bed. He’d…

Her insides seized.

He’d made love to her.

Hadn’t been in love with her, of course, and she knew he couldn’t possibly be now, but that was how he’d taken her. As if he were her lover.

Every movement, every caress had been meticulous and carefully controlled.

It was that same control that she could now see slipping. He was trembling. It had begun as a subtle tremor of his hands as he’d told her about his past, and she could tell by the way he’d put his hands in his pockets that he was trying to keep his emotions hidden and bottled up inside. Except now, the glass was starting to crack. It was clear just how much he was struggling to hold himself together.

If someone tapped on his shell, he would shatter.

Susie didn’t know what to do, so she stood on the opposite side of her room and listened.