Page 125 of Plug and Drain

She shook her head. She would not second guess herself. It was counterproductive. Her gut instinct told her Arken had been doing everything in his power to protect her.

Henrikk had seemed placated, but she had a horrible premonition that he’d seen through Arken’s facade.

Arken’s words drifted back to her.

Surely, you can see that I’m a mere puppet?

There had never been room in her life at Volmasque Academy to consider the well-being of vampires. She and Arken may have lived in the same castle, but they were worlds apart when it came to privilege.

But they both struggled to carve out lives under the same dictator. She’d never thought of it that way before, but it was obvious now. His life was limited too, only in different ways.

Her worry of how Arken would react to her turning him down seemed insignificant now. She’d been so focused on the overwhelming power balance between them, and all the ways he could make life difficult for her, that she’d been blinded to external factors. It was a terrifying reminder that Arken, in turn, was worried about Henrikk’s power over all of them.

She’d been busy anticipating threats within the academy and trying to survive. Arken had been looking at the bigger picture, trying to exist between a rock and a hard place.

What was it like to try and run the academy with Henrikk looking over his shoulder?

And I’ve been pressuring him to change the academy’s rules.

She rubbed her eyes tiredly. How foolish of her to make grand plans and then expect someone else to carry them out. Or to think that someone with more power than her had a proportionally easier life. Arken was far above her in rank, but he was even more limited in how he conducted himself than she was. She’d been stupid not to realise it sooner.

She worried.

She worried about Arken. He’d slaughtered Oscar as if he were nothing, but she worried about him. It didn’t make any sense.

Susie stood by her bed hugging herself, racked with nausea. She couldn’t forget the tang of blood in the air, and she was unsure whether it was better to sit or stand to try and relieve the feeling.

Please don’t throw up.

She opted to pace in awkward circles between the stacks of books, but it didn’t help. She felt more and more sick with each step, and her worry for Arken increased. She accidentally knocked a stack of books over but didn’t dare bend down to upright it in case she threw up.

Susie drew in a deep breath, and then another, trying to think.

It was tempting to go and find Arken, but she had no way to know if Henrikk was still in the castle. To go knocking on Arken’s door seemed unwise.

That’s if he even wants to see me.

Despite the mixed messages she’d received, she held firm to the possibility that he still did.

I’ll go later. Tonight. If I’m not still in danger of hurling my guts up.

All the students had been advised by their Residential Advisors to return to bed, but Susie doubted anyone was sleeping after watching Oscar’s execution.

Guilt brewed within her. Arken had killed Oscar for her. To keep her safe.

Oscar’s blood was on her hands.

She’d given Arken her seal of approval to kill Oscar last week, and now Oscar was dead.

It had been such a violent death.

And Henrikk had been there, watching.

Arken must have been putting on a show for the King. That was the obvious explanation.

Which was why her half-hearted attempt to talk him out of it had changed everything and nothing.

It eased her conscience a little to know that even if she’d been more persuasive…even if she’d gotten down on her knees and begged for Arken to spare Oscar’s life, it wouldn’t have made a difference.