Page 6 of And It’s Still You

It wasn’t doing me, Ocean, or Shea any good.

I had to stop being the problem.

Eventually.

2

O'SHEA COLLIER

“Istill can’t believe you went legit, O,” my best friend, Terrance, expressed with a smile. “I’m proud of you, for real. You finally put those degrees to use.”

“I ’preciate you, man. You know me, Tee. I would’ve executed this shit years ago, but Onyx wasn’t having it. It was his way or no way.”

“Hell yeah. Big bully ass. I wouldn’t dare say it to his face, though.”

Terrance and I fell over laughing. No one ever tried Onyx except me. It was like an unspoken rule in the streets because the consequences could be lethal.

I continued looking over the monthly numbers for my pharmacy, Just Right Medz, and said, “I’ll say it to him for you. You know I still got some shit to get off my chest and so does he.”

“Keep me out of it. I don’t want any smoke with either of you.” Terrance leaned up in his seat, and I could feel him staring at the side of my face.

“Speak what’s on yo’ dome.”

“You need to stop silently beefin’ with him, O. I understand the pressure he put on you over the years cost you a lot, but look at all you have now, man. You’re blessed. Take that into consideration.”

“Trust me, I do. I’m grateful for how far I’ve come, but I’ve had to do all this without my wife by my side. She wanted me to choose this, and she’s not even in my life like that to enjoy it or be proud of me. I can barely get a text back from her mean ass now, unless it’s ’bout Ocean.”

“Let’s be real for a minute.”

I kissed my teeth and sat back in my seat. With my elbow resting on the arm of my chair and hand on my face, I encouraged, “Say what’s real, Tee.”

“You can’t put the full blame on Onyx. You knew there was a possibility you would lose your wife if you didn’t move yo’ feet quicker. Moya gave you enough time and warning to get yo’ shit together.”

“One thing I’ll never do is place full blame on Onyx for my actions. He wasn’t in my marriage, but he was in my ear. Shit doesn’t make a difference. It’s just facts.”

“I hear you.”

Conversations about Moya always put me in my feelings. I still loved her and held onto hope that we’d work through our shit one day. She wasn’t budging, but I also knew she was stubborn as hell. The mean streak she had allowed her to hold a grudge, and I’d produced her biggest one.

“Something doesn’t look right,” I said more to myself than Terrance.

“What is it?”

“Some numbers aren’t adding up.”

“You want me to ask Moya to look over it?”

I expelled an exasperated sigh and ran my hands over my face. “Nah, it’s all good. I’ll have my accountant look over it again.”

“If you say so, but you know Moya wouldn’t miss anything.”

“Man, ain’t you ’posed to be somewhere other than here bothering me?”

Terrance chuckled and shook his head. “Nope. I took the day off, so I ain’t got nothing but time today.”

“Well, make yourself useful and go grab us some lunch or something.”

“You ain’t taking a break?”