Page 4 of And It’s Still You

Shea: Do you have any plans with Ocean over the next week?

Me: I don’t. What’s up?

Shea: You good with me getting him for the next week or so? I want to take him to the beach for a few days.

Damn. Why were we always in sync? We’d been divorced for five years, but somehow, Shea and I were constantly thinking the same thing when it came to Ocean. It made co-parenting with him much easier.

Me: Of course. I was thinking about taking some time off from work to take him myself.

Shea: Come with us.

I reread the message three times and found myself contemplating on accepting his invitation, but I knew I couldn’t. I didn’t want to give Ocean any ideas on his father and I getting back together. Ocean was at the age where he was beginning to ask more questions on why O’Shea and I weren’t together anymore. Me keeping Shea’s last name confused Ocean, but I kept it for him. Not for anyone else.

Me: You know I can’t do that, Shea.

Shea: Why not? You’re a grown woman who has free will. You can do as you please. Plus, I know how much you love the beach. If you were already thinking about going, you may as well come with us.

Why did he have to make sense?

Why did he have to remind me that he still knew parts of me?

Not wanting to go there with him, I set my phone down and finished eating my bowl. It was hard not getting in my feelings whenever it came to Shea. After all the years apart, I still allowed him to affect my emotions. I’d been trying so hard not to, but it seemed to almost be impossible. Elise swore it was because I still had feelings for him, while I knew it was because I was still mad at him.

Forgiving O’Shea was a trying task for me. Whenever I thought I had forgiven him and was over what happened, something triggered me. Something reminded me of what used to be and what could have been, and I’d be mad all over again. It was something I’d recently started praying about more. Lord knows I didn’t want my heart to remain cold when it came to Shea. Despite what we’d been through, he didn’t deserve it. He was a good man, and that was something I’d never take from him.

My phone vibrated again, and it was Shea sending another text.

Shea: The offer will always stand. I’ll pick him up on Friday. Have a good rest of the day, Love.

Love.

Despite us no longer being together, O’Shea still called me that. Each time, it made my heart skip a beat. I sat back in my seat and thought back to the first time he called me that. I was walking down the halls of our old high school, talking to one of my friends. Neither of us were paying attention to where we were going, and I ended up bumping into him so hard that he had to catch me.

I still remember the way he peered down at me with those mysterious, deep, amber-colored irises, and said, “Watch where you’re going, Love. Not every man is going to be there to catch you when you fall. Remember that.”

Crazy how he ate those words.

Not bothering to respond, I pushed thoughts of him to the back of my mind and enjoyed the rest of my break. It ended much faster than I desired it to, but once I made it back to the office, the rest of my day flew by. When five o’clock came, I was the first one to leave without saying bye to anyone. Neil was the main person that I wanted to avoid. If he saw me, there was no doubt in my mind that he’d stop to talk to me. I wasn’t up for that. All I desired to do was go get Ocean and go home.

During the week while O’Shea and I worked, Ocean stayed with one of our parents after school. Ocean loved bouncing between them, mainly because they all let him get away with everything under the sun. In their eyes, he could do no wrong.

Once I was safely inside my car, I got situated and pulled out the parking deck to head to my father’s house. With the heavy traffic, the usual fifteen-minute ride easily turned into a forty minute one. By the time I made it across town, I was exhausted. It was a good thing I didn’t live too far from my father, or I would’ve ended up staying there for the night.

“Daddy! Ocean!” I called out to them as I entered the house. “What the hell?”

The front hallway was messy as hell, filled with shoes, dirty clothes, and snack wrappers. Knowing everything belonged to my son, I tidied up before venturing deeper into the house. The living room was empty with the TV playing in the background. The kitchen was empty with dishes piled in the sink. All I could do was shake my head and clean it up.

There was a window above the sink. I looked out to see my father setting up what looked to be like a jungle gym, while Ocean handed him tools while eating some ice cream. A smile stretched across my face.

Cress Townsend had always been an amazing father, but seeing him in full granddaddy mode never failed to warm my heart. He absolutely adored Ocean, and the feeling was mutual. If I had to say, my father was his favorite grandparent, but I wouldn’t dare say it out loud.

When it came to Ocean Marcus Collier, none of his grandparents played about him.

Once I got the kitchen cleaned and the dishes in the dishwasher, I went outside to join them.

“Mommy, look!” Ocean all but yelled upon seeing me. “Papa got me a jungle gym.”

“I see, Bubba. Did you tell him thank you?”