Page 24 of And It’s Still You

“Hell yeah. I ended up teaching you how to cook them. It didn’t take you long to catch on.”

“It didn’t. I can cook them better than you now.”

Ocean snorted. “I don’t know about that, Mommy.”

We all shared a laugh, and I couldn’t lie; it felt good. Since Ocean was older, we hadn’t shared a moment like that together. All the memories I had of us as a family were from before the divorce, so getting a glimpse of what could have been struck a nerve, but only a small one. I was able to shake it off with ease, remembering the reason I had cooked breakfast for Shea.

We needed peace.

Once Ocean was finished eating, I cleared my throat and told him, “Let me talk to your father alone, okay?”

“Yes, ma’am.” His sweet self leaned over and kissed my cheek before doing the same to Shea. As he was walking away, Ocean looked over his shoulder and expressed, “I love y’all.”

My heart melted. I could only imagine what was going through his mind.

“We love you too, Bubba.” I blew him kisses, and he caught them.

Shea’s gaze stayed on Ocean until he was out of sight. He gave me his undivided attention, leaning on his forearms and wetting his lips. “Speak what’s on yo’ dome, Love.”

“Oh, I’m Love today, huh?”

“You’re Love every day. I only call you by your government when you got me twisted, or we’re having a serious conversation. You’ve had me twisted the last few days, but you made a redemption meal.”

“I know, and I apologize. It’s just . . .” My sentence was interrupted by his phone vibrating against the table. Out of habit, my eyes dropped to see who it was. Seeing a woman’s name that I didn’t recognize almost had me ready to flip out. The question on the tip of my tongue tasted hard and sour going down, almost like a piece of candy. It wasn’t my business. I had no right to feel any type of way.

Still, I did.

I waited to see if he would answer it, but he didn’t. He silenced his phone and looked back up at me.

“What were you saying?”

“I was just apologizing, that’s all.”

“Nah. You were ’bout to say something else after the apology. Don’t get all quiet on me now, because I know what that means.”

“And what does it mean, Shea?”

“It means you’re in your feelings. Something happened that’s making you shut down. Instead of talking ’bout it, you’d rather shut off and wait to bring it up later or for me to do so.”

Why must that man read me like a book?

I rolled my eyes and sighed. If I tried to say he was lying, he’d call me out again. If I said he was right, he’d want to know what made me shut down. Either way, I wouldn’t win. The goal was to do better with communicating with him, so I swallowed my pride.

“You’re right,” I admitted, hating the way it tasted so bitter in my mouth.

“I know. So, which is it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you going to bring it up later, or do you want me to speak on it now?”

“It’s not something I’ll bring up later, Shea. Quite frankly, it’s none of my business. Not unless she’s been around Ocean, and I didn’t know about it.”

The thought of Shea bringing a woman around our child, without discussing it with me, heated my entire body. Him having a girlfriend or wife was coming one day, but whenever it did, I wanted to meet her beforehand. All I cared about was how she would love and care for my son. Not only did she need to have Shea’s best interest at heart, but Ocean’s as well. If she couldn’t provide that, then I wouldn’t want her around him.

Wrinkles formed in Shea’s forehead from how hard his brows lowered. He thumbed his nose and asked, “Do you truly think I’d do something like that?”

“No, I don’t. I was just saying.”