Page 54 of A Wallflower to Win the Viscount

He couldn’t be like his father. He just couldn’t be. She had to marry him. He could not walk away from this. But how could he explain it to Primrose?

‘I believe your silence answers that question, doesn’t it?’

‘Primrose, I—’

‘Lucian, you don’t really want to marry me, that is obvious.’

Had she not heard a word he’d just said? Had she not heard him repeatedly ask her to marry him?

‘You only think we have to marry because we made love.’

‘No, that’s not true.’ Not entirely. ‘I made my proposal before…before I took your virginity, and you accepted.’

She frowned at him. ‘No, I didn’t.’

‘Yes, you did. Just before… When you were… Just as I was about to…’

He could hardly believe they were having this conversation and that she was expecting him to spell out the sequence of events that had led to his proposal and her acceptance!

He further lowered his voice. ‘Just before I entered you and took your virginity, I asked you to marry me, and you said yes.’

‘Oh, did I? I don’t remember. I suppose I was so caught up in the moment I would have said anything so you wouldn’t stop.’

He stared at her, shocked by her response. Had she really just said that? It was exactly the sort of thing a rake might say. It was even the sort of thing his father might have admitted to, that he would say anything to get what he wanted.

And now that the fog of desire had completely cleared, he remembered what had happened. Vividly. He remembered how hard it had been to hold back, despite his body urging him on. How he’d had to exercise fierce self-control as he’d asked her to marry him, and the elation that had coursed through him when she’d said yes, giving him permission to consummate their lovemaking.

‘So you didn’t mean it?’ he asked in disbelief.

‘I don’t actually remember saying it.’

He shook his head. How could that be possible? How could she not remember? ‘Well, you did say it.’

She screwed up the now-empty bag of corn.

‘Look, Lucian. You don’t really want to marry me. That is very clear. We both got caught up in the moment, we both said things we didn’t mean. Just be thankful you’re not being forced into a marriage you don’t want.’

Suddenly speechless, he continued to stare at her, fighting to grasp what she was saying.

‘And don’t worry. I don’t think you’re like your father, if that is what you’re worried about.’

He recoiled as if he’d taken a hard blow to the stomach.

But she was wrong. He wasn’t worried that he was like his father. He now knew he was exactly like his father. Or maybe even worse. His father neither knew nor cared about the difference between right and wrong. Lucian knew it was wrong to seduce an innocent young woman but had done so anyway. His father didn’t care who he hurt. Lucian claimed he did not wish to hurt anyone, and yet he had still put his own needs first and had damned the consequences.

‘I should not have seduced you,’ he said quietly, shame crushing him.

‘You didn’t seduce me. You didn’t do anything I didn’t want you to do. I wanted you to make love to me, and I must say, I thoroughly enjoyed it.’

Despite her matter-of-fact tone, colour tinged her cheeks, showing him she was not quite as blasé about this situation as her words would suggest. Of course she wasn’t. How could she possibly be?

‘However, I don’t believe you should have to spend the rest of your life married to me just because we both lost ourselves in a moment of passion.’

‘But…’ Lucian was unsure what his but was going to entail, but he knew there had to be one.

‘I know you think you’re doing the right thing, but I don’t think it is the right thing to do. Two people should not be forced to marry against their will simply because they lost themselves momentarily and went against Society’s strict rules.’

‘But,’ he repeated, still trying to think of an argument to convince her she was wrong.