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I lay there and thought back to how she’d caved to me. How she’d finally surrendered and blurred the lines to show how much she wanted me.
Staring at the ceiling, I tried to zone out and get my head back on straight.
She wasn’t the first woman I’d ever had.
Far from it.
But she was the first one who’d made me obsess about a repeat. Or five. Fifty?
I couldn’t fathom ever having enough of her big tits in my hands, her juicy ass against my hips. Her tight cunt squeezing me and her plump lips nipping at mine.
Fuck.
I sat up and ran my hand up and down over my hair.
She was something else, and I had to admit, at least to myself, that she had awoken this dormant possessiveness that I didn’t want to quit.
I had her twice last night. As I stood up and headed to shower, I wanted her again. And again.
Under the spray of the cold water in the shower—because I needed the extra shock to my system to feel like I was on—I struggled with the realization that she was different. She wasn’t like all the other women I’d had in my life. It was cliché to assume she was that extraordinary, in a league of her own, but as I dried off and got dressed, I couldn’t find any other explanation for why I would feel like I needed her more, not less.
The sex logic that was supposed to be at play here would imply that now that we’d had each other and the mystery and chase of it were over, I would be less driven to desire her.
The opposite was happening.
Now that I’d gotten a taste, I was addicted to when I could have her again.
Once—or twice—wasn’t enough.
And that was a big thing for me to wrap my head around.
It was another one of those before and after comparisons.
Before I’d been ordered to find her and kill her as a loose end, I never would’ve imagined actually being monogamous for a long time.
After I realized she could matter to the Bratva’s interests alive instead of dead, I’d come to find how damn sexy she was with her simple innocence.
Louisa wasn’t supposed to have ever mattered, but when I first had that instinct to second-guess the results of killing her like I was supposed to, I should have accepted that it would be for a reason. A reason like she was meant to be mine. That we could fit together in every way that mattered.
By the time I left my room and entered the kitchen, I wasn’t sure if I was aggravated by how much she challenged my single life and simple existence or how much I wanted to cave and admit how much brighter and better my life was after meeting her rather than before.
How the hell can I be next?
How is this happening?
Going from one mode of living on the edge and never having to answer to any one woman to wanting to come home to her and await a brother or sister for Brady?
I entered the kitchen and found Adrik there. Paloma smiled at me, pausing in whatever she’d been talking to my oldest brother about.
“Morning,” he said.
I nodded at him, too lost in my thoughts. He’d been informed about the break-in last night. The guards had been tased at the perimeter. When others found the two lying on the ground, they rushed into the house to cover for us. Then they submitted the report to the head of security at the mansion, who held the right for oversight of all the properties we stayed at.
“How did they handle last night’s incident?” he asked, sounding merely curious but not concerned.
“Brady slept through it all,” I said as Paloma left the room carrying a basket of folded laundry.
“And Louisa?” He arched one brow as he drank more coffee.