Page 35 of Ravaged By Lust

And I start to sing.

I took my love, I took it down

I climbed a mountain

and I turned around.

I saw my reflection

in the snow-covered hills

‘Till the landslide brought me down

And it’s good. I’m actually alright. No one is booing me. No one is laughing.

I can do this.

Everything goes blurry, and it’s like I’m back in my bedroom performing just in front of the camera. Back to performing with Axel in our living room in front of our TV. No memories of Bishop. No audience in the karaoke bar. No Gary. No fear.

But time makes you bolder

Even children get older

And I’m getting older too

Oh, I’m getting older too

And then it’s the end of the song.

I step off the stage, overwhelmed. Someone approaches and I’m assuming it’s Gary handing me another strong cocktail.

But the first face I see is Bishop’s.

This isn’t a hallucination. He’s here. In front of me.

“Wow,” Ravaged’s guitarist says. “That was great, Chloe.”

And somehow, for the second time in one night, he’s found me.

11

SEVEN YEARS AGO

CHLOE

“I get nervous when I perform live. I’ve tried everything, but it’s always just… there. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.”

Bishop leans in close, disbelief in his frown as he looks at me.

“What do you mean?” he asks. “Explain what happens.”

I take in a big inhale of air. “When I go in front of people, I just think about how they’re all watching me. Judging me. Laughing at me. And then I can’t get the words out. It’s like it overwhelms all my senses and I just feel worthless. I have had this fear all my life and no matter how many times I try to get rid of it, I can’t. I’ve been able to perform live a few times, but it’s hard. I’m worried that one mishap… one issue on stage… and maybe I will never want to perform live again.”

It’s a big admission to make, even if it is to the man I’m falling in love with. The only person who I’ve ever been brave enough to talk to about my fear is Axel.

It sounds so ridiculous, hearing it said out loud. So freaking childish. Why would I want to be a rockstar when I can get absolutely terrified of even showcasing my talent in front of others? It just doesn’t make sense, but it’s the truth. I get super nervous when I perform live. Simple as that.

Bishop kisses me.