Page 90 of The Chef

I slump into the living room and fall down on the couch, exhausted. Fisher’s attention turns from the TV and onto me whilst Pearl and Davy stand in the doorway, continuing to watch me with concerned looks.

“What’s wrong, sis?” Fisher asks.

I lean back and sigh. “A lot, it seems.”

“Cliff?”

I nod silently and my brother frowns.

Of course, he guesses something’s up, he knows me too well. Like his kids.

Pearl rushes from the door to the couch. She forces herself to sit beside me, snuggling in against my arm. It must be an uncomfortable position for her, but she really wants to comfort me. I wrap my arm around her and pinch her adorable cheeks. She knows exactly how to comfort me right in my hour of need.

“You’re my little princess,” I say to her, and Pearl smiles, but her eyes betray her worry for me. She knows something’s wrong, but she doesn’t understand. She squeezes in tighter.

“Is it serious, what’s going on between you and Cliff?” Fisher asks.

“I think so.”

“Do you want to talk about what’s going on?”

I think about Cleo and the way she’s barged straight into Cliff and mine’s life. Her offer to buy Rockpool and Cliff’s reluctant agreement to look into his. Cliff’s casual betrayal of all the work he and I have put into the place.

His rejection of me.

I slowly shake my head. “No.”

“Do you want me to fight him?”

“It’s not like that.”

“Has he hurt you, sis?”

I roll my eyes. “Nothing like that, Fisher.”

My brother reaches out and gently rubs my shoulder. “It’s not my place to say anything,” he softly reassures me. “But I know pain. We all do here.” His eyes glance around the room at Pearl and Davy.

My nephew, taking his cue from his father, steps up beside me, and hugs me. A rare display of affection from the pre-teen boy. With Pearl snuggling up against me and Davy’s little boyish arms around me, I can feel the tears rising again. Tears of love.

I love everyone in this room.

They’re my family.

“We can’t begin to understand what you’re going through, Bay,” my brother continues. “But let me tell you one thing, whatever it is that’s happening. Let me tell you something I’ve learned.”

“I don’t feel like a lecture, Fisher. Not right now.”

“No, Bay. Listen to me,” he says, eyes focusing intently on mine. “Sometimes we don’t listen to our heart and what it’s saying to us because it’s easier, sometimes, to create a false fantasy of someone rather than to expose our emotions. We prefer to make them the villain in our story, rather than see them as the hero we need. Sometimes we never see love when we absolutely should. Trust me, I’ve done it, and I’ve regretted it.”

“I don’t know,” I whimper, trying to hold back the tears.

I think of Cliff. The last few days we’ve spent together. The best days of my life. I’ve never known happiness like it.

And now it’s all gone in the blink of an eye.

“What you have,” Fisher whispers. “What you have, Bay, between you and Cliff is something special.”

“Yeah?” I crave reassurance. I’m so weak. So vulnerable in this moment.