Page 76 of The Surfer

Me falling off the board.

Again.

In front of her.

What a fucking failure you are, Cove.

She decided to open up too much to me and what did she get? She got Cove Finn falling on his first attempt. Typical me. A fuck-up.

She trusted me not to hurt her and yet I still did. I heard her crying when I left her on the beach.

She had the wild thought that she could fix me. Who did she think she was?

I hurt her.

I hurt the best love I’d ever known. I’ve failed and I’ve hurt her.

And that’s what’s stinging the most.

I don’t care about this club, or the people - or even the girls - inside it. I haven’t given any of them a second glance.

I only care about Ripley fucking Sailor.

“How about shots, Cove? Let’s do some shots!” With the excited shriek of one of the girls in the VIP booth, I’m alerted back into the room. Another girl was on my other side, rubbing my hair. So, I had a girl on both sides of me practically begging for my cock. The other girls in the booth are currently opening the bottle of vodka, pouring it into shot glasses. Another girl bounces up and down in excitement, her giant fake tits bouncing along as well. Another girl’s winking at me from across the booth, sucking on her finger seductively as she scans my athletic body up and down.

I should be happy. This should make me happy. It certainly would’ve back in the time before that American girl flew into my life.

But now I have a hole in my heart that can’t be filled by drugs or drinks or girls.

None of this means anything to me anymore.

Wow. Jesus.

I’ve come to the realization that nothing in this club means anything to me anymore.

Nothing.

The girls, the club, and the drugs are useless now. Empty. Meaningless to me.

My life is all about one thing now. One person.

Ripley.

She is the one thing that truly makes me happy. She is the one person who knows me totally and completely.

The only girl for me.

And now I’ve thrown her away. I’ve thrown away my one chance at love.

I’ve hurt her. I’ve hurt Ripley Sailor and I’ve run away from her like a coward. I couldn’t face my problems, so instead, I hurt the one person I loved, and then I retreated into the shadows like a coward.

Ripley is the only person who truly cares for me, more than even my family. My dad just thinks of me as a monetary commodity, a skilled surfer to bring in the sponsorship deals and the corporate donors. But Ripley is different. She actually cares if I get back on that surfboard, not because of money or sponsorships or brand deals, but simply because she knows it would be good for me.

Fuck. Surfing would be good for me. I just never saw it like that until Ripley forced me back on the board this morning.

This is enough.

Tide can go fuck itself.

I abruptly stand up, brushing off my body the hands of the two girls who are basically hanging off on me. My stoned dealer falls back into his seat, taken aback by my sudden movement. Stoned people don’t like quick movements.

“Where are you going, dude?” he asks as I step over the VIP booth table and the numerous shot glasses and vodka bottles. The girls in the booth sit back to let me pass, pouting at me leaving. I’m the only reason they’re here; the chance to sleep with the town’s billionaire playboy lured them into Tide and to my VIP booth. Back in the times before Ripley, I would’ve gladly fulfilled their wishes.

But not anymore.

“None of your business,” I reply to my dealer as I exit the booth and head straight to the nightclub’s front door.

I am out of here.

Goodbye, Tide.

I am going to make things better.