Page 1 of The Surfer

1

COVE

Surfing isthe best feeling in the entire world.

Really, no joke, it’s the best feeling out of anything you can think of.

No lie.

Hands down.

Surfing is, by far, the best feeling you can ever experience.

Honestly, and I mean it as a fucking fact, I can honestly put my hand over my heart and truthfully say that surfing is the best feeling in the entire freaking world. Try me, it’s better than anything you can dream about.

Surfing is even better than girls.

There, I said it.

Girls.

Really, it is better than pussy. And that’s pretty big coming from me.

It’s better than the most expensive alcoholic drinks you can buy in the most exclusive club. It’s better than the best drugs you can score.

Anyone who’s spent a cool morning or a hot afternoon on a surfboard among the clear blue ocean waves will one hundred percent agree with me.

It’s even better than the hottest and most mind-blowingly rip-the-bedsheets-with-your-nails-awesome sex you can imagine.

Trust me, I’ve experienced that many times before, and surfing beats it every day.

Surfing, in those glorious moments when the wind’s blowing through your hair and you can smell the ocean salt whip off the wave behind you, is even better than sex.

Truthfully.

And today, standing on my expensive surfboard knowing I’m just moments away from winning the biggest amateur surf competition in the Southern Hemisphere, is by far the best fucking day of my life.

I’m really feeling it.

Surfing truly is the best fucking feeling in the entire world.

And, right now, I’m loving it.

On top of this surfboard, I am totally in my element. Standing on top of my board with my arms stretched out and my legs slightly bent, perfectly balanced, is completely natural to me. Years of dedication have led me to this moment where I’m barreling down a massive wave at full speed in front of hundreds of spectators. Years of endlessly waking up early to go to the beach for hard training are finally paying off in this very moment. Years of carefully tracking my extreme diet have put me in the right athletic shape to pull this off, especially judging from my rock-solid abs and thick biceps. Years of abstention from drugs and girls and drink has made me one of the best amateur surfers in Australia.

The amount of fucking work and sacrifice I’ve put into this. It’s guaranteed to be mine.

And now, at the Oceania Surf Competition, it’s my chance to prove to the world that I really am ready; this is my chance to prove to the world that I am right, that I really am the best young male surfer in the Southern Hemisphere. This win, basically guaranteed in a few moments time as long as I don’t stuff up, will be proof that I finally deserve to go pro. This will be enough proof that I deserve all the crazy fame and infinite glory that goes along with winning this coveted competition. All the benefits of winning this competition will be rightfully mine. Right now, balancing on top of my surfboard, I can already see my future laid up before me, all the magazine covers, the interviews, the TV appearances, the golden trophies, the sick surfboards, the stunning girls.

The sponsorship deals.

The money.

The reputation.

I can see them all so clearly in front of me. I can picture the prizes already.

They’re practically mine already, as long as I don’t fuck up.