Page 37 of Dancing in the Dark

For her, I’ll tend to the garden of Sera and Mia. I’ll fertilize what’s growing, and shut up about how much I wish I could be a part of it.

Pushing to my feet and coming back around, I scoop Mia up and pray Sera’s “I won’t sneak out without saying goodbye” promise extends to me, too. I curl her into my chest and take care not to let her head drop. Bringing my eyes back to Sera’s, I think certain things, but I speak something else entirely.

I love you! Please, for the love of Christ, I need you.

“If you wait a second, I’ll walk you out.” I take a single step back and intently hold her gaze. “Please.”

“Okay.” Swallowing heavily, she slowly rises to all five feet, six inches of stunning beauty she is, and spying her heels across the room, she runs her hands over her skirt and wanders that way. “I’ll wait.”

“I’ll be quick, I promise.” Turning on my heels and leaving the room, I move along the hall and into Mia’s bedroom. I know she won’t stay in here past midnight. Fuck knows, she’ll be pissed when she finds out I’ve put her in here without technically, officially saying goodnight. Still, I bend over her bed and carefully pull her blankets back, then, laying her down, I draw them up again and fix her pillow so her neck isn’t bent at a weird angle.

I drag her hair off her face so it doesn’t tickle her awake a minute sooner than necessary, then I switch on the night light and send a million blue and green stars shooting toward the ceiling.

Spying the tooth on her bedside table, I scoop it up and drop it into my pocket, then I pull out my wallet and search for something to trade it for.

Do kids take high-interest credit cards these days? It’s not maxed out anymore, so there’s that.

Discovering a crisp, almost new dollar bill, I smooth it out and lay it carefully where her tooth was.

Leaning over her tiny body and picking through the massive stack of stuffed teddies she keeps permanently on her bed, I select the red Care Bear I know is her favorite, tuck it under her arm, and press a kiss to her temple. “Goodnight, Moo. Daddy loves you.”

Straightening out and taking a slow step back, then a second and a third, I watch her with machine-like focus and hold my breath long enough to make sure she’s still asleep, then I spin and bolt back into the hall.

Please still be here. Please still be here. Please don’t leave without saying goodbye.

I march along the hall and through the mouth at the end, and because I can’t fuckin’ help it, the instant I find her in my kitchen, her blouse re-tucked, her heels back on, her hair neatened, and her eyes as powerful as those of a magical faerie in all the best love stories, I press my hand to my heart and wheeze through the panic and relief waging war in my blood.

Panic, because I worried she’d leave, even when she said she wouldn’t.

Relief, because, fuck, she stayed, even though we both know she didn’t have to.

“Ask me out to dinner again.”

Skidding to a stop, I swear, my entire fucking soul shrivels and aches. It throbs and grows. Hope. Heartache. Fear. Dread. Wariness.

“W-what?”

“Ask me out to dinner again.” She meets me halfway across the room and lifts her stubborn jaw. “We were robbed last time, and even if being stood up hurt my feelings, I still want to try again.” She brings shaking hands up, so fucking scared, so hesitant, then she places them on my chest and bewitches me with her touch. “I’m not ready to declare this officially broken, Charlie. I can’t spend time with Mia and not attribute every good thing about her to the man killing himself to raise her, and I can’t look at you and not see a tremendously decent man. You’re just…”

“Prone to fucking up?”

She exhales a nervous laugh. “Suck at communication. Conditioned to assume the worst.” Her lashes come down to kiss her succulent cheeks. “A little rough around the edges, maybe.” Opening her eyes again, she pins me exactly where I am. She’s got me, hook, line, and fucking sinker, and I don’t even care enough to flop around a little in defiance. “Ask me out to dinner,” she whispers. “Mean it. Honor it. Follow through.”

“Will you go out to dinner with me?” I breathe through the dread sparking in my blood. The gravity of what another screw-up could mean for us. The massive, chest-crushing stakes that come with such a seemingly simple question. But then I draw a deep breath and set my hands on her hips. “Will you please come out to dinner with me?”

“Yes.” Her lips curl into a stunning grin, partnered with an equally stunning blush that does things to my stomach as easily as it does things to my cock. “I accept. I would like to go out to dinner with you.” She swallows her nerves and searches my eyes. “Now ask if it’s okay to kiss me.”

Oh, God. Oh, fuck. Oh, Jerry Lewis, please don’t let me fuck this up.

“Really?”

Mirth dances provocatively in her eyes. “That wasn’t the question you were supposed to ask. This is why we’re constantly arguing. You don’t listen.”

Chuckling, I lean closer and taste her breath on my tongue. I smell her nerves in the air. I feel her pounding heartbeat.

“Seraphina?” I bend a little closer and bring myself down until our noses almost touch. “Is it okay if I kiss you?”

“Yes,” she exhales shakily. “Yes, it’s okay.”