Page 127 of Dancing in the Dark

I didn’t feed my daughter last night. I didn’t put her in the shower. Didn’t tuck her into bed. Didn’t say good night.

Fuckkkkk.

“You’re awake?”

I whip my eyes down again and lock onto Sera’s sleepy gaze. Her lazy blinks and pouty smile. Like a fat cat waking from a nap, she stretches her legs and points her toes. She yawns and elongates her neck. Smacking her lips, she curls into a ball once more, pulls her blankets up, and tips her head back to study me with slow, leisurely sweeps of her eyes. “You look much more rested. Good.”

“We slept on the floor?” Don’t mention the chainsaws. Don’t mention juggling. She’s still sleepy and floating. Maybe she forgot I’m a fuckup. “A-are you mad at me?”

Dammit, Charlie!

“Mad?” Sluggishly, she worm-shuffles her way a little higher, so instead of her head being in line with my ribs, she’s in line with my shoulders. “I’m not mad. Why would I be?”

“Because I didn’t parent last night.”

Shut. The. Fuck. Up!

“I don’t even remember… did…” I squeeze my eyes shut. “Did I fall asleep on the couch?”

She makes a sound in the back of her throat, kind of like nuh uh. Pulling herself closer, she presses a kiss to the ball of my shoulder. “No.”

Well… that’s better, I guess.

“You fell asleep on the floor.”

That’s way worse!

She lays her head on my pillow and releases a sexy sigh of contentment, lulling me into a sense of safety with a smile. It’ll all shatter soon. It always does. “You were really beat when you got back,” she whispers. “So you sat down, took your cuddles with Moo, then before we could even count to five, you were out like a light.”

Confirmed: I didn’t feed her. Or shower her. Or put her to bed.

Fuck.

“We weren’t sure how we’d get you into your room, and Mia was too lazy to even try picking you up on her own.” She presses a smiling kiss to my neck. “So, we built a pillow fort around you. How’s your back?”

“Feels like it belongs to an eighty-year-old arthritic war survivor.”

She snickers. “Mia had the right idea. She climbed up and grabbed the most comfortable spot of all, and although I considered bribing her with candy and trading places, I figured she had first dibs, so…” She shrugs. “I made do. Do you wanna talk about yesterday? About whatever wiped you out?”

And risk saying shitty things or tossing more chainsaws into our already precarious situation? “No. It’s….” I carefully extricate my hand from hers and mash it against my eyes. “Work. Same old shit, different day. Are you sure we’re okay?” Dropping it again, I drag Mia’s hair away from my face. “I feel like we’re probably fighting. Like I fucked up.”

“Me and you?” She shakes her head. “We’re fine. If you’re asking for specifics, then I suppose I’d encourage a little more communication, since it was getting late and I was starting to worry that you hadn’t come home yet. But other than that, we’re good.” She pushes her blankets down and twists onto her elbows. “Do you mind if I get up and make a pot of coffee? I need caffeine before I die. Then I have…” She squeezes her eyes shut. Thinks. “I don’t even know. I think I have back-to-back meetings today, but I can’t remember what they’re about until I have coffee.”

“Wait.” I grab her wrist before she can escape and pull her back in. My stomach performs somersaults and my heart skitters frantically in my chest. Panic sets in, and I’m not totally sure I know why, besides the usual ‘my life sucks, and it’s only gonna get worse’ dread I’m accustomed to carrying in my soul.

“What’s wrong?” She hovers above me, her willow stare flickering between my eyes. “Why does it feel like you’re about to say something scary?”

“Because I’m pretty sure I fucked up.” I swallow the thick sludge of anxiety balling in my throat. “Because work is hard, and then me and Arch…” Had a fight. “I came home and honored absolutely none of my responsibilities. I didn’t ask how you and Mia were… Did I?”

A soft smile feathers across her lips. “You were so sleepy that you were out minutes after you got home.”

“Exactly, so⁠—”

“So that means you had nothing left to give.” She inches closer and presses a gentle, closed-mouth kiss to my lips. “It means your body and brain were shutting down, and the very last thing you did with the fumes of fuel left in your tank was come home to us.” Another kiss. “Cops sometimes work through the night, right? Or they sleep at the station to recharge. You didn’t do that. You came back to us. You sat down. Hugged your baby.”

“Did I hug you?”

“Well…” Her cheeks warm with a soft blush. “No. But that’s okay.” A third kiss. “Because after we made our pillow fort and snuggled in, even in your sleep, you grabbed my hand. Maybe you consider last night a failure.” She lays her forehead over mine and draws a deep breath. “But it wasn’t so long ago that work would keep you out all night, you’d abandon me completely, possibly even pick a fight and say unkind things, and then I’d suffer through days or weeks before I got to see you again.” She pulls back and flashes a stunning smile. “Acknowledge your wins, Charlie. You earned them.” She plops a kiss onto the tip of my nose and jumps away before I can grab her again. “I need coffee, and if I don’t stand up and unfold my hips right this second, I might scream. Mia asked me to be your girlfriend forever, by the way.”