Page 124 of Dancing in the Dark

Returning a moment later and stopping behind the couch, he draws my head back and presses a gentle kiss to the center of my forehead.

“I’m sorry I’m late.”

Snapping out of her meditative state and sitting tall, Mia gasps. “Oh, Daddy! Hi, Daddy!”

“Why are you awake, baby?” He opens his hands and takes her from me.

It’s ridiculous that I should feel left out. That I feel abandoned. But I can’t help the way my lap turns cold now that she’s gone, or how I miss the constant tapping melody of her heart beating against my chest.

I don’t want to exist without that anymore.

I watch as Charlie comes around to this side of the couch, as he lowers to the very edge, then how he plops to the floor, rather than settling back beside me. “It’s really late, Moo. You should’ve gone to bed already.”

“I didn’t want to go to sleep wifout seeing you.” She straddles his lap the same way she straddled mine, but where she was excited to tell him about our stage amongst the stars a moment ago, she frowns now and runs the tips of her fingers over the lines etched into his face. “Are you sad, Daddy?”

I sit forward and try to get a better look. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.” He reaches back and grabs my wrist, then he gently tugs me forward, pulling me down beside him and draping his arm across my upturned legs. He exhales a heavy sigh and closes his eyes. “Daddy is so, so tired, Moo. And you were supposed to be asleep already.”

“Are you mad?” I wrap my arms around his and snuggle against his side. “She wanted to wait for you. The best compromise I could find was watching a movie and making her cuddle.”

“Not mad.” He scooches his butt a little further forward and tips his head back to rest on the couch. “Are you mad cause I didn’t juggle work and parenting very well tonight? She’s my responsibility, and I left her with you till…” He trails off for a beat. Shrugs. “I don’t even know. Is it nearly ten?”

“No, I…” I narrow my eyes and hate how Mia’s excitement washes away to something else entirely. “I’m not mad. And you didn’t need to juggle. I asked for the evening with her, remember?”

“Mm. I remember. You probably didn’t wanna babysit till this late though.” He peels his eyes open and forces a sleepy smile for Mia. “Sorry Daddy was gone so long.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t go to sleep when I was s’posed to.” Her cheeks warm with an embarrassed blush. Not that he’d know that, since his eyes fall shut again. “I was too excited to see you.”

“S’okay.” He lazily reaches out and hooks a hand around her neck. Pulling her forward so their chests touch and her cheek rests over his heart, exactly how she sat on me a minute ago, he exhales a long sigh and rubs her back. “Daddy is never sad to see you, baby. Have you had dinner yet?” He musters enough energy to open his eyes and look around. “Do you need me to get you something to eat?”

“I made her dinner.” Already, he grows heavier against my side. His lethargy is like a blanket weighing us all down. “I-is everything okay?”

“Work sucks,” he grunts sleepily. “Markum sucks. Arch sucks, but he’s my best friend, so I love him anyway.” He runs his hand over Mia’s hair, oblivious to the bun she refused to undo before he got a chance to see it, “Bower sucks. Fabian sucks. Felix Malone sucks, too.”

“Uncle Felix?” Mia sits tall again. “What did Uncle Felix do, Daddy? He’s always a bit naughty, huh?”

“Mmm.” He smacks his lips. “Can we watch the movie for a few minutes? Then when Daddy’s rested a bit, I can help you get ready for bed.”

He drops off within seconds and leaves us sitting… staring… wondering what the hell just blew in. His breath turns even in under a minute. His hand falls away and lies slack on the floor, while his other arm drapes heavily across my lap.

“Sheesh, Fifi. I fink he went to sleep already.” Mia leans close, studying her father with their noses almost pressed together. “I never fall asleep that fast! It always takes me ages.”

“I guess he had a really big day at work.” What the hell happened? And why is Anderson’s name on his tongue? I lick my lips and consider what the hell I should do, then I look Mia’s way and hate the disappointment playing through her expression. Earlier, she was excited to tell him about our time on the roof. Now, she looks like a little puppy left in the rain.

“I fink he’s mad at me.” She lifts her knees and rests her elbows on top. “He doesn’t normally let me stay awake so late. Maybe he wanted to come home and have quiet wifout me.”

“Absolutely not, baby.” I reach under her chin and give the sensitive skin a small tickle. “He sometimes has to work until really late at night, doesn’t he? Like, even later than this when a case keeps him out.”

Tears glitter in her eyes. “Those are the times Penny looks after me. Or Cato.”

“Uh huh. And do you know what he tells me every single time that happens?” I lean a little closer. “He says, ‘Oh man. I missed Moo all day long, and then when I finally got home, she was already asleep.’”

Skeptical, she looks from him to me. Him to me. “Really?”

“Uh huh. He knows you’re only five, and five-year-olds can’t stay up all night waiting for their dads to get home, so he’s never mad that you didn’t wait up. But he’s always a little sad. And the other time when you had a sleepover with Cato?”

She swallows and suckles on her bottom lip. “Did he miss me?”