Page 19 of Ice Dance

We already had the elements of what he was suggesting, just flipped on their edges. It would be challenging to perform, but that made it stand out.

“What do you think?” he asked, when I didn’t immediately reply.

He couldn’t hear my heart racing, or he’d already have his answer. “I think we need to get through selection first.”

“Think about it.” He sat back and drank his coffee. “I was up most of the night going over it. It won’t be easy, I know that. But I think with your technical prowess and my heat, we can pull it off.”

“You should be resting, not thinking up ways to upend my entire routine.”

“I can rest after Friday.”

His energy was admirable, but it wasn’t endless. If he injured himself, we were both out of the competition. Although, there was still Alisha.

The guilt returned, heavy in my chest. Navarro was a fine dancer. He deserved a shot at this. And gender open was perfect for him. I just wasn’t sure I was the partner he needed to help his strengths shine.

I wasn’t sure I could do this, and it had nothing to do with physical skill or talent, and everything to do with how my gaze kept lingering on him longer than necessary. How I watched his quick hands flutter, like butterflies. How his too-bright smile tugged on something inside me. He smiled so often I couldn’t ignore it. How it felt, having the firmness of him under my hands. The masculinity of it. He was right, he did have heat, and I was beginning to fear I was not immune. These feelings were unacceptable.

On the ice, I’d be able to compartmentalize them. But in places like this, our knees bumping under the table and his smile always on the move, the pull of him was a distraction I could not afford.

His ideas were good, his dancing was brilliant, with flaws. He had passion and drive and heart. We might get through selection, but after that, everything would change. Nine months of intense training. Day after day, close proximity, hands on each other, bodies closer than most lovers.

I’d wanted a challenge. I’d needed something like him to bring me to life. Dylan had noticed it, and she’d been right. I just wasn’t sure if I was brave enough to see it through to the end.

Alisha was safe. Navarro was a wildcard.

Safe would not win the Meridian competition. But a wildcard on an international stage could destroy both of us.

We finished up breakfast, then he headed to the local rink while I returned to my room to collect my bags. I called Dylan while there.

“Why didn’t you tell him?” I asked.

“Because, Ren, I saw something on the ice last night that you and Alisha don’t have. You dance with Alisha as though it’s a nine-to-five job, but you dance with him like you either want to fight him or fuck him, frankly. And honestly, that’s the spark that will get you noticed⁠—”

I ended the call.

Fight him or fuck him?

If she had seen it, then so would others.

I couldn’t do this.

TEN

CAMDEN

I had no idea what Hasegawa was thinking from one moment to the next. The only time I’d seen him be anything other than moderate and reserved was when he’d been angry on the ice.

Today, it seemed that anger had been buried six feet deep under his typical rigidity. We did the steps, went through the routine. I misstepped less, which was progress. But I wasn’t getting anything back from Hasegawa. He’d closed off again. I hadn’t realized how I’d needed the feedback from a partner to bounce my energy off. I’d learned that, at least. Dancing with Hasegawa today was like dancing with a mannequin, and it was killing me.

Halfway through the day, with the rink open to private lessons only, I figured I’d try something that might sink us, but if it worked, we’d be ready for Friday.

A few other skaters and tutors were in their own little bubbles, doing their own thing.

I had a reputation for being unruly. And I needed something that was going to crack Hasegawa’s barriers wide open, like his anger had last night. I needed to trigger him.

It was time I turned up the heat.

I tore off my hooded top, and bunched the loose tank top into a knot, so it clung to my chest and left my middle with its spread of tattoos exposed. I’d worn black leggings today, since we were beginning to synchronize and Dylan needed to know where my legs and form were in relation to my core symmetry.