Page 105 of Ice Dance

“Oh, I’m aware.”

“Which could have been handled differently. And I wanted you to know that it’s a privilege to skate with you. Whatever happens at the Meridian, I will never regret any part of skating with you.” I hope he knew that was as close as I could come to admitting I cared for him deeply, on and off the ice.

“Ren, why does this sound like a goodbye?”

“What? No.” I dug my skates in and stopped us. “That’s not what this is at all.”

“Alright.” He shrugged. “So what happens after the Meridian?”

That was a heavier question than I’d planned on bringing up tonight. “Do you really want to discuss that here and now?”

“No.” He huffed, his gaze going off somewhere so he didn’t have to look at me.

“We’ll talk . . . after.”

He sniffed, and nodded, then smiled at full wattage. “Give me a second . . .” He left my side and carved across the ice to the trio of guys doing tricks. Of course he hadn’t been able to resist for long. He chatted to them for a while, then it was clear he was getting involved with their impromptu moves. I skated a few loops, then got off the ice, bought two hot chocolates, and waited on the seats while he laughed and joked with three strangers in a park, doing tricks for their social media videos. He had them all doing jumping handstands, then ridiculous poses for photos.

He came back to me, off the ice, buzzing, and sat.

I handed him the hot chocolate that had gone slightly cool.

“You should have bought a tire d’erable,” he said.

“I’m not going to buy snow that someone has poured maple syrup on.”

He laughed. “It’s clean snow.”

“That’s still not comforting,” I chuckled.

He nudged my arm, keeping things loose and friendly. “Thank you for bringing me here. I needed it. Had a day, you know.”

“You’re doing remarkably well. Please don’t take my distance personally. It’s . . . well, it’s who I am. I don’t know how to fix it.”

“You don’t need to fix anything.” He clamped his hands around the hot chocolate cup, to warm them, and sipped the hot drink. “I’m sorry about that night at the gala. I was outta line in front of your father.”

“You were out of line in front of a lot of people.”

He chuckled. “Yeah. But you were also being a dick, so . . .”

I arched an eyebrow.

“Yeah, that face.” He snickered. “That’s a whole vibe.” He bumped my shoulder with his and the touch trilled through me. I’d missed him being close without expectations and routines on us. I almost said it. “I’ve missed you.” But that would only hurt both of us.

We fell quiet for a few minutes, until he said, “Your father’s back, huh?”

“It was . . . unexpected and difficult. He has no interest in me personally, he just wanted to know about the Meridian, because he’d heard our preview had been technically astounding.”

“Did he ask you how you were?”

“No.” I sipped my drink, letting it warm me through and chase away the cold. “He is a . . . traditional man. He doesn’t talk about feelings.”

“Wow, it’s almost like you’re related.”

Navarro was teasing, and I didn’t mind it. Liked it, even. I’d missed his banter too, and his endless talking. That had been a surprise. The quiet in the spaces where he wasn’t had hurt, like I’d been missing a part of myself.

I would need to ask about the injury soon, but not yet.

“I think those guys I skated with have looked me up.” He nodded toward the ice where the hockey skaters were pointing and waving.