Page 50 of Stroke Rate

Family dinner had marked the end. It was Chris’ breaking point, and with it, the dam seemed to have broken. The weight of years of choked-back emotions, agony, and unshed tears finally exploding. He was bone-weary and completely drained. Drained from the constant effort of holding his loved ones, when none of them ever held him. Drained after a lifetime of desperately trying to put his shattered family back together. Chris was done.

He no longer cared what they thought.

He no longer wanted them in his life.

He no longer cared what a future without them would look like.

Chris never wanted to experience that shame again. He wanted his life to be his and his alone. He wanted to keep River and love him, and build a life with him.

Running his hand up and down River’s sides, Chris looked up at River. His eyes were damp and tender. “Please let me keep you,” Chris begged as he pulled River’s face down, capturing his lips in a kiss full of all the love and longing he could convey. He needed River to know how much he meant to him, how much he loved him, because oh how Chris loved this man, not only because of how he had transformed his life in the most amazing ways, but because of who River was.

He loved River’s kind nature and his soft voice. Chris loved how River coached him in a way that felt like they were a team, never making him feel less than. But most of all Chris loved River because his touch felt like words.

With River’s touch, Chris knew how loved he was.

With River’s touch, Chris knew River would always protect him.

With River’s touch, Chris knew he would never be lonely again.

And deep in Chris’ soul, he felt as if the world existed solely for them to find, love, and provide a safe space for each other.

Breaking the kiss, Chris framed River’s face with his hands and kissed his nose, his cheeks, and finally his lips. Pulling back to meet River’s gaze, he said, "I love you. I think I've loved you from the first moment I laid eyes on you. I watched you walk down those bleachers, and I saw a freckled hand swishing in the water," he said as he pulled River's hand up to kiss the top of it. “And I knew you would change my life.” Chris watched as River’s tears dripped down his cheeks, watched as River’s face transformed into something new. His worry lines softened, and his eyes seemed to smile along with the curve of his lips.

River lowered his head, placing their foreheads together and rubbed his nose along Chris, before asking, “You love me?”

“Mm-hmm,” he hummed. “You woke something in me when we kissed that first day. When you held me and when you looked at me, you saw me. For the first time in my life, someone saw me.” He paused, pointing at River’s eyes. “The way you looked at me ‌allowed me to trust, to feel, and let go. It allowed me to submit and, fuck, Riv, I loved it. My love for you isn't just based on how you improve my life. I love you because you help me survive. You held me when I thought I was drowning, and you have helped me to build something I thought I would never have.” River sniffled as he buried his face in the crook of Chris’ neck. “Look at me, please.” Chris waited until River lifted his head and stared down at him again. “You have given me unconditional love and a relationship where I’m never scared. You make me feel safe and whole. You see all of my shattered shards, and don’t care that I’m one piece short of a complete puzzle, and you still love me.”

Before kissing Chris so deeply it made his toes curl, River said, “I really do. I love you so much, and I'll never let anyone ever hurt you again. I swear it.”

“Will you make love to me, Riv?” He almost laughed at the words that came out of his mouth—words he never thought he’d ever want to say. But that didn't make them any less true. Chris didn't want to float away and not feel. He didn't want to be an object to be used. He wanted to belong to River, determined to remain entirely in the present.

Chris whined as River started to move, a slow grinding of their lengths against one another. “Yeah, baby, I can make love to you.” River kissed him once more before flipping them, so Chris was straddling his waist. “I want to taste you,” he said as he pulled Chris’ ass cheeks apart. “Will you let me do that, baby?”

“Mmm,” Chris moaned as River massaged one finger around his rim. “Please.”

Chris repositioned himself so he was hovering right over River’s mouth. His dick leaked so much River was licking the precum off his balls. “Sit on my face,” River moaned as he sucked one of Chris’ balls into his hot mouth.

“I-I don't want to suffocate you,” Chris huffed as he wiggled his ass fractionally lower.

“I don't care. If I die, I die. Now spread your cheeks for me and show me that pretty hole.” So Chris did what he was told, spreading himself for River to inspect. “I'm going to worship you, baby. Starting right here.” He felt the warmth of River’s tongue lap over his hole. Long, soft licks up and down his crease, before the tip of his tongue began running circles around his entrance. “You taste so good, I'm so lucky to have you. So lucky you let me do this,” River said before he started his ministrations again. Long swipes of his tongue, a quick flick of his tip across Chris’ hole, and then a lick up and down his seam.

“Oh fuucckk, Riv. That feels so good,” he panted as he stroked his cock.

River took Chris' hand in his own and placed it on his thigh. “Don’t touch, I want you to come on my cock.”

“Please,” Chris huffed.

River placed his hands on Chris’ hip. “I said sit,” he repeated, yanking Chris' ass right onto his waiting tongue. He speared Chris with the flexed muscle, wiggling it as deep as he could. Moving Chris up and down so he was fucking himself on River’s mouth.

“Ah-ah-ah, fuck River, I'm going to come,” Chris panted, trying to stave off his impending orgasm. Everything felt so good. River’s tongue in his ass, his large warm hands kneading his hips, and his hot panting breaths along Chris’ taint. “I need you, please, Riv. Please”

And just as suddenly as River had pulled him onto his face, Chris was on his back. River looming over him, his mouth and chin glistening with spit as he licked his lips. “Fuck, you taste so good.” River rubbed his thick cock through Chris’ spit-slick crease. “I want to eat you until you come next time,” he growled as he grabbed the lube and drizzled it onto his fingers. “Gonna get you nice and wet.”

Shaking his head, Chris said, "I don't need it. I'm ready. No more prep.” River winged a brow in question, before nodding and wetting his cock, stroking himself with long pulls from root to tip.

Chris raised up on his elbows as River placed one hand under Chris’ knee, pushing it back, using the other to line himself up with Chris’ needy hole. They locked eyes as River pushed forward.

“Ahh, Jesus fuck, you’re huge, Riv,” he said, panting as River slowly pushed in another inch.