Page 93 of In Between Death and the Devil

“That’s not true,” Fen said. “You’re getting a little better every time.”

“Barely.” There was an edge of hysteria in my voice. How was I going to be able to take on Death if I couldn’t manage this?

“Maybe you just need different motivation,” Bea said from the corner.

“What do you mean?” Titus asked.

“Death is the eventual target,” she said. “So you need to imagine they’re Death instead of your friends.”

I shook my head. I wasn’t ready for that.

“Actually,” she got up and strode over to Titus. “Use me as a target.”

My stomach dropped. “What? Why?”

“Because you’re angry with me. Maybe if you add anger to the mix it’ll help. Think of this as a way to work that out. Can you give me a shield?” she asked Titus.

“These only work if you have a Tempter Mark,” he said.

“No,” I said. “This is ridiculous.”

“It’s not a bad idea,” Daphne said. “Your emotions can affect your powers. It would be a good idea to test out how.”

“I’m not throwing my power at her when she’s unprotected.”

“I can shield her,” Fen said. He was watching me intently, aware of my roiling feelings through our bond.

There were too many for me to name. And I didn’t want to. “You can’t think this is a good idea.” Anger might boost my throwing power, but it also might alter my intent not to hurt.

He walked up to me, shielding me from the others. “Daphne’s not wrong,” he said softly. “This is the perfect place to test this out. I won’t let you hurt anyone, but you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to. We can work on this another time.”

We didn’t have time. Now that it was clear to everyone that I was Death’s Successor, I needed to master my powers as soon as I could so I could take her down. Besides, Fen was right. These conditions were as safe as they were going to get. He was still much more powerful than I was. He’d do his utmost to make sure I didn’t do anything harmful. I said a quick, silent prayer that he wouldn’t have to intervene.

“No. It’s fine. I’ll do it.”

His gaze lingered on my face for a moment before he nodded.

Bea straightened as Titus stepped away from her and a shadow shield appeared in front of her. It hovered in the air, moving up and down or side to side as if tracking my movements, as I settled into a stance and shook out my arms.

She was short enough that the target she presented was significantly smaller than any of the others. I needed to aim down compared to where I’d been aiming before. My fingers curled and straightened at my sides.

“Don’t resist your anger,” Bea said, her eyes just visible over the top of the shield.

“Not a problem,” I muttered.

Her help was unwanted. This wasn’t a part of her job; it wasn’t what we needed her for. If anything, she was endangering our mission by being here. Yet she insisted, so sure of what I needed. It certainly wasn’t about what I wanted. I didn’t want the realms relying on me to take on a woman who’d basically been a god for three hundred years. I didn’t want to face the potentially catastrophic results if I let everyone down.

My entire body quivered as my anger kindled and burned until it turned to rage, at Bea, at Death, at the entire situation. Power swirled through me, lighting up my hands and arms. I could feel it pouring through my bond with Fen. I hadn’t consciously drawn anything to me. My emotions must have invited it in.

I raised my hand in front of me, palm up like I’d done so many times already. It glowed brighter than I’d ever seen it, bright enough that I could see the power rushing under my skin along with my muscles and bones. Was it supposed to look like that? I pushed the thought away, determined to prove that I could throw a damn ball of light at a shield and make an impact.

Except a ball of light wouldn’t form. My mind went blank. I couldn’t remember how I’d done it before. All I could concentrate on was the amount of power circulating in my body. A lot. Far more than I’d ever handled before. Too much.

“Maeve?” Fen asked.

“I—” I couldn’t do it. It was too much. I tried to release my hold on my power, to let it dissipate, but I couldn’t do that either. I wasn’t in control.

For a moment I was terrified, but my rage drowned it, snuffing it out. Typical. This was so fucking typical. I’d said this was a ridiculous idea, but would anybody listen to me? Fen tried to play the nice guy, giving me an out, but I knew he wanted this. He wanted this over with, and that meant me channeling as much power as I could. So what if I turned into a human torch and burned everything around me? Maybe I should’ve. Maybe they deserved it.