Page 84 of In Between Death and the Devil

“Thanks. That makes me feel so much better.”

Fen’s hand on my thigh started tracing small circles over my leggings. It was distracting.

“Titus is right,” Marcus said. “Learning to use your powers and strengthening the Death Chord will prepare you for everything. You don’t have to start the trials until you feel ready.”

“And if I’m never ready?” I was proud of how calm I sounded, but inside my head was a mess. How had I thought I could do this? They were counting on me. Everything rested on my shoulders. If I failed… I swallowed hard.

“You will be,” Fen said. He sounded so sure. It should have been comforting. It wasn’t.

“You can’t know that.” Doubt swirled in my chest, a poison I couldn’t shake. It seemed like a cosmic joke, that I was meant to be the savior of the In Between. I was so unprepared for this.

He squeezed my thigh, hard enough to get my attention without actually hurting me. “There is plenty of time for you to learn what you need.”

I pushed his hand away. “No, there isn’t. Death knows what I am. Do you think she’s going to sit and do nothing as long as I exist?”

“We will protect you.”

“Does she know that I can challenge her?”

“Yes,” Daphne said. “She deserves to know,” she told Fen when he glared at her.

“We know the lengths she’ll go to in order to eliminate threats,” I said. My eyes burned, but I refused to cry. “She’s going to come for me.”

“I don’t think she will,” Daphne said.

My eyes flew to hers. “Why?”

“You said she offered you the soul of the man who betrayed you as it was the reason you came to the In Between. Except it wasn’t. She got that wrong.”

“You think the offer was what?” Titus asked with a frown.

“I think Death knew the offer was ridiculous,” Daphne said. “I think she wanted you to refuse.”

“You think she wanted to use me as the anchor against my will?” I asked.

“No. I think she let you go.”

I wanted to say it was a ridiculous idea, but I noticed that everyone else at the table was looking at Daphne thoughtfully, as if truly considering what she’d said.

“Your escape was either lucky or way too easy,” she said. “No offense.”

I thought back to facing Death, the way I’d managed to hit her before she used her power. Did she hold back? I wasn’t even sure if I’d hit her since I hadn’t wanted to take the time to look.

“To what end?” Marcus asked, taking the question out of my mouth.

“I don’t know,” Daphne said through gritted teeth. “And that bothers me.”

I wanted to dismiss it, but the more I thought about it the more I wondered if it was true. Sucking in a deep breath did nothing to calm me. I hated this, knowing that there were blind spots I couldn’t see. That at any moment something could be revealed that would throw what I thought I knew into disarray and force me to reevaluate everything.

“So, let me see if I’ve got this right.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I have to figure out how to use my powers for combat, while strengthening my Death Chord with Fen to prepare for three trials that I have to pass, without knowing what they are. All to challenge Death, which she likely knows I’m going to do, and she may have an agenda we don’t know about.”

“That’s a fair summary,” Daphne said, looking mildly impressed.

“Great.”

Fen’s hand returned to my leg, this time stroking up and down from my knee to mid-thigh.

I put my hand on top of his to still it, but I didn’t remove it this time. The contact was grounding. I concentrated on the heat of him and the way it spread to the rest of my leg as I desperately tried to keep my emotions in check. The last thing I needed was to light up like a torch, proving I was the worst choice for this position.