Page 67 of In Between Death and the Devil

He was right that there was nothing I could do to the person who had hired Colt now, but it still mattered to me who it was. I needed to know it wasn’t him, that he hadn’t trapped me into coming here. If the Devil were in my position, I bet he would care, too, but he wouldn’t listen to me now. Something had shifted between us with the viewing of Colt’s soul record. I could feel it, even without our bond. He was giving up on me.

“I can’t help you further,” he said, shaking his head. “You’ll have to make do with the information we got.”

He wasn’t just talking about the contract to frame me. He meant I’d have to decide whether I could trust him without proof.

“It’s not enough,” I said, my voice barely a whisper.

“It was never going to be enough, though, was it? Even if you got what you wanted.” The anger on his face made me recoil.

Unable to face the truth of his words, I turned and fled.

* * *

I didn’t remember the trip back to my room. One minute I was in the Devil’s castle, the next at my door. His words echoed in my head.

“It was never going to be enough, though, was it?”

Fen was right. For the past seven years, I’d lived by one rule—other people weren’t to be trusted. It was a hard-earned lesson, one my parents had taken great pains to teach me. Colt had driven it home, fooling me so thoroughly I was floored when he revealed he’d been lying the entire time.

My family’s death had proven how dangerous misplacing trust was, and the stakes were even higher now. If I was wrong this time, it wasn’t just a matter of getting my heart broken or a few people dying. The stability of the realms was at stake.

And yet, for the first time I wanted to break that rule. I was drawn to the Devil. To Fen. Or maybe I was just tired of being alone. The warmth of him still pulsed through me and part of me wanted to run back to his castle and throw myself into his arms. To let him hold me and convince me that everything would be alright. To think of him as Fen instead of the Devil.

Doubt seized hold of me. Was I doing the right thing? I’d trusted him enough to create a Death Chord with him. If he wasn’t trustworthy, I was already in over my head, so what difference did it make? Still, I couldn’t bring myself to deepen our connection. The thought of doing so set my heart racing.

Caught between my desire and my self preservation, I felt like I was being pulled apart. I didn’t know what to do.

With a sigh, I pushed my door open. Maybe a night’s sleep would help me see things more clearly.

Except my bed was already occupied. Bea lay on her side, fast asleep.

I hastily shut the door and leaned against it, relief warring with worry. She’d been helpful when the Devil had snapped at me, but how had she found out where my room was? Judges and trainees did not mix with servants. It was frowned on. Speaking in an empty corridor when our paths randomly crossed was one thing. Her coming to my room was different. As much as it warmed my heart for her to seek me out, I didn’t want her to get in trouble.

A flash of yellow caught my eye, and I saw Star poke their head out of the fire. At the sight of me, they moved forward until Bea shifted. One glance at the bed, and Star turned tail and disappeared, one of the wood logs falling in their wake.

Bea’s eyes fluttered open at the noise. “Hi.” Her smile was sleepy as she sat up.

Something warmed in my chest, something entirely human. It was impossible not to smile back. “Hi. How’d you find my room?”

“I asked a servant.” She held up a hand. “Don’t worry, I was discreet; no one saw me. I wanted to see you. See how you’re doing and thank you for the chat the other day.”

“No thanks needed. You helped me as well.”

“It’s nice to have someone to talk to.”

“Yes. It is.” I bit the inside of my cheek. I wished I could really talk to her. She’d have something wise to say about my issues with the Devil. And I was so full of worries and conflicting desires that I felt I might burst.

“So.” Bea looked at me expectantly.

“Yes?”

“How are you doing?”

It was an innocent question. One I should answer with fine and move on. Except when I opened my mouth, everything came tumbling out.

* * *

Five minutes later, Bea looked at me blankly. She hadn’t stopped staring at me since I told her I was working with the Devil.