Page 52 of In Between Death and the Devil

“Let it out, Maeve. It’s okay. I’m here. I’ve got you.” The Devil’s voice cut through the roaring in my ears.

I wanted to tell him he was wrong. It wouldn’t be okay. I wasn’t okay now and I never would be again. There was no changing what I’d done but, more importantly, I didn’t think I could survive this howling and rending in my chest. It felt like I was being torn in two. I needed it to stop before it destroyed me, but I was powerless. All I could do was let it rage. So I stopped resisting.

Slowly, the storm inside me started to ebb, as if my resistance had been giving it fuel. The more I surrendered, the more it calmed until it was no more. Wrung out, I clung to the Devil, my head against his chest, listening to the pulse of his soul. He was warm and solid, and I was so tired. I was grateful he was holding me. Until I realized he had gone rigid.

His arms no longer held me close as much as they held me upright, and our connection had gone dormant on his end, like he was blocking me out.

“Are you—” I started.

“Can you stand?” His voice was strained.

I straightened until I was standing in the circle of his arms instead of leaning against him. My hands released their stranglehold on his tunic. “Yes.”

“Get away from me.” His voice was a snarl as he pushed me away. The gold flecks in his eyes spun so rapidly I almost couldn’t see any brown.

I stumbled, confusion pushing me off balance as much as momentum. “What happened? What’s wrong?”

His eyes flickered between gold and black and he was trembling, almost vibrating with something I couldn’t read. “You.”

“Me?” It came out as a squeak. I staggered back at the look on his face. Anger. Disgust. Hate. I barely recognized him. There was nothing of the man he’d been the past week. The one whom I’d started to trust against my better judgment because of how supportive he’d been.

“Your emotions are so loud.” He shook his head as if trying to clear it.

I shrank back, trying to burrow inside myself. “I’m sorry. I don’t know⁠—”

“You’re so weak. This was a mistake.” The words were quiet. Pained. But they pierced me like a knife.

My mouth opened and closed. I had no words.

“I can’t be here right now.” He strode away without looking at me.

“But—”

“Leave me alone.” His words echoed against the walls, and then he was gone.

Standing in the middle of the Great Hall, lit only by a ball of light above my head, I felt like I’d been shoved off of a cliff.

What had just happened?

CHAPTER 15

Ifrowned down at the message in my hand, trying to remember where to find the Judge it was addressed to at this time of day. It should have been obvious, with Nexus underneath their name, but I was so frazzled I stared at it for a whole minute, wracking my brain, before I realized. It was the last one in a stack Death had handed me after lunch to deliver.

With a sigh, I started the trek across the castle, my body aching from all the tossing and turning I’d done the night before. Twice, I took a wrong turn, distracted by my thoughts and emotions. I’d swung between confusion, fury, and hurt since the Devil had walked out on me. The memory of it replayed in my head over and over. Every time I thought I’d found a moment of peace it started up again.

His behavior had been cruel, and unexpected. I’d learned with Colt that pretty words were worthless. Actions, what someone did, told you who they really were. The Devil had reminded me who he was last night, but there was no escaping him now. I’d tied myself to him with a Death Chord.

At least our bond had stabilized the In Between. I prayed that our link would be enough to keep it that way. I wouldn’t continue to work with him after last night. What I’d learned so far would have to be enough. The In Between needed me to provide an anchor so I would, but that was all I would do.

My resolve didn’t make me feel any better, because it didn’t feel like a resolution. I didn’t want the In Between to fall apart. If our connection wasn’t enough, I’d be forced to interact with him again, and that ate at me. So much that my hands started to heat.

Shoving the note in my pocket, I slipped into the nearest servants’ corridor, leaned against the wall, closed my eyes and took a deep breath. The Devil was right; my emotions were loud. They howled through me, fighting for dominance. I tried to sink into them, to stop resisting. The hallway was quiet compared to the one I’d come from, and I leaned into the silence, letting it soothe me.

The sound of a sniffle to my right made my head jerk up. Looking closely, I spotted a booted foot peeking out from an alcove housing a statue of Death. Even here, in a place only traversed by servants, they were plentiful. Drawing closer, I discovered Bea slumped against the base of one, her face red and eyes swollen from crying.

“What happened? Are you okay?” I was crouched in front of her before I remembered that I was a danger to her. The heat in my hands had retreated but not faded completely. Still, I didn’t get up or leave. I did refrain from touching her, though, just in case.

“Hi,” she squeaked, hastily wiping her face with the sleeve of her dress. “Sorry. I didn’t think anyone used these hallways.”