Page 30 of In Between Death and the Devil

“Even the Devil has nightmares.”

The connection between us twinged with pain, and my resistance crumbled. If there were other options, I couldn’t see them. He was right about one thing, the only way out of my deal with him was through whatever I was afraid of. Delaying was only making me more anxious. Besides, I was no stranger to emotional pain. I could handle whatever he threw at me.

“How will you do it?” I asked. “How will you help me work through my fear?”

“I can see your shadows by looking into your eyes. I will tease them out and give them physical form when we work together, so that you can explore them piece by piece. I’ll help you figure out what you’re feeling and be there to calm you when things get rough. We’ll go as slow as you need.”

“Do you need to look in my eyes, or can you use the thread of connection between us forged by our deal?” My voice hardened a bit.

“You feel that?” His eyebrows rose.

“So you knew it was there.”

“Yes. The oath we took bound us together, to make sure that we both fulfill our end of the deal. Like I told you.” He had. I remembered.

“But you left out the part where we would be literally connected.”

He sighed, like I was a troublesome child. “I didn’t think to tell you because usually I’m the only one who can feel it. I’m sorry.”

I pressed my lips together. His explanation made sense, and it matched with what I’d assumed about our connection, but the fact that I was different bothered me. “Do you think it’s because of my curse?”

“Yes.”

Yet another reason for me to get a handle on it. I pulled my shoulders back a fraction. No more stalling. I needed to get through this. But first, “What should I call you?”

“What do you mean?” He frowned.

“If I need to get your attention, how do I address you?”

“Call me Fen.”

“I’m not calling you that.” That wasn’t who he was.

The skin around his eyes tightened a fraction. “That’s what people call me.”

I glared at him as I considered the options. I called Death ‘my goddess’ but calling him ‘my god’ sounded wrong to my ears. ‘Devil’ also felt wrong somehow. “How about ‘sir’?”

The flare of heat in his eyes, and the way his hands fisted at his sides gave me a swooping sensation in my stomach. I opened my mouth to take it back.

“Since you insist,” he said with a smirk.

My mouth snapped shut, and I internally cursed, resolving to use it as little as possible. “We should get started.”

“Do you consent to⁠—”

“Yes, I consent to you stomping around in my head and in my feelings. Can we get on with this?” I waved my hand between us.

He shook his head. “As you wish.”

CHAPTER 10

Itried not to fidget or think about the fact that the Devil was about to dig around in my head for my deepest, darkest fears as he stepped in front of me. Submitting myself to his influence was a means to an end.

“Close your eyes for a moment,” he said.

My jaw clenched but I did as he asked.

“Take a deep breath and try to relax as much as you can. A little more with every breath. Take as long as you need.” His words brought back memories of that night on the balcony, when he’d talked me down from the panic that had held me tight.