Page 150 of In Between Death and the Devil

My anger softened at her explanation. I’d forgotten about the fact that she’d been chased.

“I saw the bridge breaking like it did before, and I knew it was worse this time because it shook more, but I thought it was my only chance to get away.” She looked at her hands. “I didn’t want to be stuck over there.”

I leaned forward and pulled her into a hug, irritation giving way to relief.

She settled tentatively into my arms, as if unsure where we stood. It pulled at my heart. I regretted the distance between us. In the face of the realms nearly falling apart, my previous concerns felt so small.

“I’m sorry for how I reacted to you working for Fen. I’m glad you made it back to us,” I said. Having her close felt right, like a jagged edge had smoothed over.

Her arms tightened around me, and I smiled. For someone so small her hugs were quite fierce. She gave Daphne a run for her money.

“Where did you go?” she asked when we pulled apart.

I filled her in on my sojourn as a salamander and everything that had happened with Fen. By the time I’d finished, Marcus, Daphne and Fen joined us. They carried trays with platters of food and dishes which they set on the table.

My stomach growled as we all loaded our plates and then fell on them like starved wolves. I hadn’t eaten since I’d transformed back into my human form, and it was all I could do to chew before I swallowed. The others were equally hungry, or maybe it was that they knew this was a moment of peace that might not last.

I still hadn’t passed the third trial, and time was running short.

* * *

“Trust what is,” the Guardian said for the fourth time.

“You keep saying that like it means something,” I said, glaring at them.

Fen shadow-stepped us to their cave after we finished eating; we were determined to wring information about the third trial from them. We were out of time, and I had no ideas to go on.

They stared at me impassively, their blank-eyed gaze no less creepy than on my other visits.

Fen stood in the back, irritation flowing through our bond. He’d insisted on coming, despite the fact that he couldn’t do anything, and now that we were here I was glad for his silent support.

“We can’t wait any longer. The realm is hanging by a literal thread. All I need is a small clue to help me figure it out. Just one. Something. Please.”

The Guardian’s silence was deafening and something in me snapped.

“Whose side are you on?” My shout echoed in the dark chamber. “Do you want the In Between to shatter?”

I felt Fen tense behind me. “Maeve.”

“Have I not done enough? Have I not learned to trust well enough? Have I not accepted the cards I’ve been dealt? What more do you want from me?” My chest heaved as I stared down the Guardian, daring them to end me. It would end the realms, but it would serve them fucking right. I was tired of being a plaything for them.

More silence greeted my outburst, but I swore it was tinged with amusement.

Throwing up my hands, I turned away from them. There had to be a way to figure it out. Was I just stupid?

Trust what is.

I started to pace, trying to clear my mind so I could come at the problem without any distractions. “What is” implied it had to do with the present, the way things were. How did I trust that in a way I hadn’t already?

My gaze fell on a familiar set of scales atop a column. It had been there since the Guardian summoned it so I could weigh my soul, sitting off to one side in my subsequent visits. I’d thought it odd, but now it snagged my attention in a new way.

Trust what is.

The sentence I’d given myself before was one I cobbled together trying to balance grace and justice for the things I’d done in this life. I’d thought the effort mattered more than the actual sentence, but maybe I was wrong.

I wanted to rail against my fate because it felt unfair, but what if I had to trust that it was exactly what I deserved? What I needed. I’d thought sentencing myself was pointless because it would never be carried out, but what if I gave myself the sentence of the life I was already living?

My eyes flicked up to the Guardian. Did I detect approval in their silence or was I so desperate to be right that I was imagining things?