Page 139 of In Between Death and the Devil

I shouldn’t have been surprised that Death knew about our plan, or that I had left, or how confident she sounded about beating me, but I was. Hearing her say it all out loud was chilling.

Talia took Death’s hand and squeezed it. “At least Fen’s secret is out.” Her snicker made me bristle.

“It would have been better if it hadn’t been revealed.” Death’s annoyance wiped the smile off Talia’s face. “This delay could have been avoided.”

“Of course.” She dropped Death’s hand and looked away, a mulish look on her face. She’d wanted me to find out, I realized, to hurt Fen. That was what she’d tried to tell me on the bridge. It was the only time I’d seen her not fall in line with Death’s priorities.

“How many soul cases do we have?” Death asked.

I slipped out before I could hear Talia’s answer.

CHAPTER 36

The ground was warm under my feet as I paced in front of one of the hot spring’s pools. The scene I’d just witnessed between Talia and Death played over and over in my head.

Death said she’d been preparing, and I was sure that was why she’d been draining people. She needed power to defeat me. Even now she knew I was missing, she assumed I was still her Successor, and a threat. People were still being hurt because of me. Pain followed me everywhere. No matter what I did or where I went, I couldn’t escape it. Not in the World of the Living, not in the In Between as a human, and not as a salamander.

Before, when I had been Death’s Successor, I’d at least had the prospect of challenging her, the possibility of taking her place and stabilizing the realm. As distant as that likelihood had been, it was something. In my current form, I was powerless to do anything.

All I’d wanted was to run away, to hide from the burden of being me, but I couldn’t. It felt like a cruel joke, but then my entire life had felt like one. I must have done something truly heinous in a previous life to deserve my current one.

“What’s got you so riled up?” Sasha’s voice startled me. I’d been so distracted, I hadn’t heard her come in.

I hadn’t told her about the missing Judges, as if I could avoid it by not talking about it, but the desire to unburden myself bubbled hot in my chest. It wasn’t that I thought I deserved relief. I didn’t. It was the need to accept responsibility that loosened my tongue. I told her about what I’d learned from Bea, and the conversation between Death and Talia.

“I shirked being Death’s Successor because I wanted to run away, and now things are getting worse and I can’t do anything about it.” If I were in my human form, I’d have thrown up my hands.

Sasha made a soft chirping sound that I realized was her clearing her throat. “I know you think you’re no longer Death’s Successor, but it doesn’t work like that. You can’t just decide to give it up. You’d have to lose your integrity as a soul. Trust me. I know from experience.”

“But I can’t access any power. Or my…” I couldn’t say the words Death Chord, even in my head.

“That doesn’t mean they’re not still there. I can taste them on you. They’re just dormant.”

My breath stalled in my lungs as hope and fear warred with each other. If they weren’t gone, I could do something to help, but then what had I been doing for the last week or more? “What have I done?”

“What do you mean?”

“I wanted to escape, and instead all I did was delay the inevitable. Death drained three souls while I’ve been here wallowing.” I squeezed my eyes shut as if that would make the truth go away.

“She would have done that regardless of whether you turned yourself into a salamander or not. She needs power for when you challenge her.”

“I’m still the reason souls are being drained.”

“No, you aren’t.” Sasha’s voice was firm. “Death is draining souls because she made a decision to stay when she was meant to move on. That’s not on you.”

I didn’t want her to be right, but her reasoning was sound. “Fine. It doesn’t matter anyway. If my powers are dormant, I can’t transform back.” I huffed, or tried to. It came out as a chirp.

“Do you want to transform back?” Sasha sounded surprised.

“It’s not about what I want. If I’m still Death’s Successor, the In Between needs me to challenge her. I shouldn’t avoid my duties any longer.”

Sasha was quiet for a minute, long enough for me to start fidgeting. I couldn’t tell whether or not she agreed with what I’d said.

“Well, then,” she said finally. “I guess you should try.”

My mouth dropped open, my tongue flicking out. “Here? Now?” I looked around at the space. There was no way out aside from the fire.

“We’re in a Dungeon cell. If you need a door, one will appear. It’s the perfect place for you to transform.”