Page 103 of In Between Death and the Devil

My face heated at his curt dismissal. “You were afraid of what she’d reveal. I felt it.”

“That’s not what you felt.”

“Don’t tell me⁠—”

“I was afraid she was playing for time, trying to keep us there. I just wanted to get you back here, so you’d be safe.” He sounded so reasonable, like it was obvious that was what had happened.

I crossed my arms. “The bridge is a hidden space. Only Death could have joined us.”

“Which is what I was afraid of,” he said before I could continue.

“Why? You’re more powerful than she is. Since when are you afraid of her?”

“I’m not, but I don’t want you anywhere near her.” His end of our bond was calm, like we were having a regular conversation instead of an argument, which made me even more suspicious.

“What are you hiding?”

“Nothing.”

I stared at him, wishing I could rip the answer from his mind. I’d spent so much time convinced Fen wasn’t to be trusted, but that had been based on his reputation and my fear of trusting anyone. Now, I wanted to trust him, but I was faced with the first sign that maybe I couldn’t.

He was hiding something. The more he evaded my questions, the surer I was. Talia had said he craved something. Power was the first thing that came to mind, but I knew that wasn’t true. Despite what Talia and Death thought, Fen cared about the souls he was responsible for. I’d seen it. Their wellbeing mattered more than anything to him. It had to be something else. So, what was it Talia thought he craved?

My mind spun with possibilities, each one worse than the last. He’d admitted they’d slept together. Was it something about sex? Or maybe it was sex that he craved. He wasn’t having it with me. Maybe he was having it with others. Maybe that was why he wasn’t touching me. I tasted something bitter at the thought.

Fen sat at his desk, ignoring me while I spiraled, even though I knew he could feel my emotions. Our bond was wide open, yet he acted like it didn’t bother him. Nothing ruffled his calm, not even my flare of jealousy. How was he doing it? I didn’t believe he was so little affected by what had happened, which meant he was able to hide his emotions. Or could he?

The Death Chord allowed me to draw power from him and feel his emotions. Could I use it to probe whether or not those emotions were real?

Part of me recoiled from the idea of doing something so invasive, but Fen knew how hard it was for me to trust people and he was lying to me. He could have told me he wasn’t ready to talk about whatever it was. I would have still worried, but the fact that he chose to outright lie set off alarm bells in my head that I couldn’t ignore.

Letting instinct guide me, I softened my gaze and sank my awareness into our bond. I let Fen’s emotions swirl around me until everything else faded into the background, until I was floating in a sea of calm. It buoyed me up like a life raft. I tried to sink below the surface, but I couldn’t; something wouldn’t let me. The harder I tried, the more rigid the calm surrounding me became. With a concerted effort, I pushed as hard as I could, focusing all my effort on breaking through.

“Maeve.” Fen’s bark broke my concentration, and a moment later our bond slammed shut.

I blinked several times as my eyes struggled to focus.

Fen came back into view slowly. He stood at his desk glaring at me, fury rolling off of him. “I told you it was nothing.”

“I—” My throat tightened.

“If you want to know something, you ask. You don’t violate our bond and go digging around in my emotions.”

My ears began to burn. “I did ask, and you lied about it.”

“How would you feel if I did that to you?” he continued as if I hadn’t spoken.

I swallowed. “If you’d told me you didn’t want to talk about it⁠—”

“It wouldn’t have stopped you. You’d have pushed and pushed until you got answers, because you can’t live with uncertainty. No matter the cost to anyone else.”

His accusation cut me deep, because it was true. But I thought he understood why. Then, I registered what he’d said. “So, Talia was right. You do have a secret.”

Shadows appeared at his fingers, and his eyes went wholly black.

The hair on my arms rose and I drew back as he stalked for the door and ripped it open.

Titus stood there with one hand raised, as if to knock. His eyes widened as he took in Fen’s face before they flicked to mine. “Everything okay in here?”