Page 65 of Beyond the Hedge Maze

Jesse stared at his father. He certainly looked the same, a little older each time Jesse saw him, sure. A few new grey hairs, a new wrinkle. But the tone was all wrong—the openness was all wrong. He couldn’t draw a line from where they started, to a few friendly conversations, to the man sitting at his side.

“I never understood why we were there in the first place. The Catesby’s weren’t your usual clientele.” He wasn’t ready to share more about Oliver, not yet.

“No, they weren’t. But…” His father rubbed his face, and his gaze locked on the water. “I was struggling in Chicago…without Ada. You were, too. I thought we could both use a change of scenery. It was a good excuse to leave the city.”

The memories of the weeks after his mom’s death played through his thoughts like an old movie projector. He didn’t remember his father struggling. He remembered him being busy. He remembered him working. “I didn’t know that.”

“I didn’t want you to know.”

Was it really that simple? Had everything after her death been a fucking misunderstanding?

“Maybe that was a mistake. I should have grieved in front of you, with you. I’m sorry,” his father continued.

Jesse was on the verge of tears again. He was straddling a fine line of wanting to take advantage of this moment, to force out every secret and inner thought his father had, while also wanting to completely shut down.

“Did you know I would volunteer to come back here?” Jesse asked.

His father shrugged, his lips tilting up in a half smile. “I had a hunch. Arthur and Simon had both just finished telling me that you were unhappy at the office, and then Oliver called the day after. It felt like fate somehow. You were so much happier at the Chapman estate. I thought maybe if it had worked once, it would work again.”

“It did. I was happier here. I am happier here.” The admission fell easily from Jesse’s lips.

“You loved visiting England as a child, even before we lost her. Your love only grew at Cambridge, especially after you started rowing.”

Jesse swallowed and bit the inside of his cheek. That disappointment he’d been waiting for was rising up his throat, but instead of choking it back down, he decided to speak it aloud. “I wish you had seen me.”

“I came to all of your races. I even watched that documentary they made for YouTube.”

“You…What?”

“I know things between us have been…rocky,” his father started.

“Understatement.”

“I’ve always been proud of you, mijo. I know I haven’t expressed myself well, but I assumed maybe once you were older, had moved home, and we were working together, that we’d come to some common ground. I could start to fix things.”

“I’m not going back to Chicago.” That admission fell easily, too.

He knew he was supposed to have one year left working at Emerson’s London office. That was the agreement. But afterwards? When his life was completely up to him? He hadn’t known what he was going to do.

He knew now. He wasn’t going back to Chicago, and he wasn’t going back to London, either. At least not to do anything more than collect his things.

“I think I have to quit.”

His father extended his arm behind Jesse along the back of the bench. He wasn’t quite touching him, but Jesse appreciated the gesture for what it was. He was trying. “Okay.”

The pain that had settled in his chest had momentarily retreated until he thought about Oliver again. There was still the matter of making things right between them, apologizing for his behavior, but none of that would change Oliver’s situation.

“Dad? Can you stay for a few days? I could use your help.”

“Yes, mijo. I can stay.”

Chapter 26

Jesse

Ten Years Ago

The sun was setting behind the hedge as Jesse and Oliver lounged at their spot.