Page 18 of Beyond the Hedge Maze

His father’s face hardened, and Jesse pressed his nail even deeper into his palm.

He often wondered if they’d ever learn to navigate their relationship back to calmer waters. When they’d have a conversation that didn’t feel backhanded, one without barely concealed judgment laced up in fake niceties. He didn’t think he’d ever be able to speak his mind without his words being somehow twisted into something he didn’t mean.

All he could really do was sit and bear it. He reminded himself that it was one dinner, and then his father would be on the red eye back to Chicago. He could handle that. One dinner.

***

Jesse was exhausted.

On the walk back to his flat, he went over their conversation again and again, replaying and replaying, analyzing and obsessing over their broken relationship. When he left for Cambridge, he thought that the distance maybe would have helped. That time and space apart would have been good for them—he was wrong. Distance hardened them both. Created a shell so impenetrable, that even a sledgehammer couldn’t break its way through.

He arrived at his flat and lazily inserted his key into the lock. He had a few hours of packing to do before he left for London in the morning, and he regretted that he didn’t give himself more time. He knew the longer he lingered around Cambridge, the harder it’d be to leave.

As soon as the door opened, he was hit with the strong smell of cardamom and black tea.

He followed the scent to his kitchen where Tanvi stood at the stove, mixing a small sauce pan of milk and spices. He should have known they’d be there. Jesse stood behind her and wound his arms around her front, resting his chin on her shoulder. With her free hand, she hugged him closer.

He inhaled the fragrance of the masala chai, and his mind started to quiet.

“Sean and Michelle left a bit ago to get a takeaway, but I thought you might want some quiet first,” she said, not taking her eyes off the stove. “How was he?”

Jesse closed his eyes. “I’m not hungry.”

She consolingly patted his arm. “Chips solve all problems, love. You’ll want them.”

He let her go and hopped up on the counter next to the stove. Jesse dropped his head below his shoulders. “I don’t know how to talk to him. I don’t know if I’ve ever been able to.”

“Did you get Italian?” Tanvi asked.

He groaned. “Yes, like we do every time he’s in town. It’s depressing. It makes me think of my mom.”

Tanvi hummed noncommittedly. She turned off the burner and looked him square in the eye. “And you’ve never considered that maybe that’s where he feels closest to her? That maybe it’s not about you, but about a man who misses his wife?”

Jesse nudged her thigh with his toe. “Who’s side are you on?” he joked, trying to relieve some of the tension that had steadily built throughout the evening.

“Yours, always, but you should think about it.”

She opened a cabinet door and frowned, realizing that his cups had already been packed. Jesse got off the counter and retrieved two mugs from a nearby moving box, handing them both to her. She evenly distributed the chai, and passed one of the mugs back to Jesse.

His first instinct was to argue, to tell her that he knew better, that he knew more about their relationship, but he didn’t. He wanted to return to his normal self again and stop thinking about his father. He closed his eyes and took a sip of the chai, letting it warm him from the inside out.

The front door opened, and Sean’s deep voice echoed from the other end of the flat. “Fuel for midnight packing!”

“It’s 9:00, you muppet,” Michelle responded.

“It turns me on when you’re mean to me like that, just so you’re aware.”

“Tanvi! Sean is hitting on me again!”

Jesse and Tanvi rolled their eyes and laughed as their friends entered the kitchen. Sean was carrying two bags of chips and placed them on the counter. Crossing the floor, he smacked a loud kiss to Jesse’s cheek. “I’m not even going to ask. I’m glad you’re home and we’re not picking you up from the nick.”

Unlike Tanvi, Sean didn’t have any problem searching through the moving boxes on his own to find the plates. “I thought you came by to help me finish packing?” Jesse complained.

Sean waved him off as he opened another box and finally located the plates. “Before you go and leave us all behind—”

“I’m not leaving you behind. You’re literally the only one not moving to London.”

“—we have a topic that needs revisiting.” The three friends all looked at Sean wearing curious expressions on their faces, waiting for him to go on. “Oliver.”