Page 33 of A Farmer’s Guide To Gamers

The words hung between us for a second as if she was building suspense. Call it twin intuition, but something told me that wasn’t it.

“And I’m pregnant.”

I blinked a few times trying to process what she told me. A ringing in my ears started and slowly increased as I imagined a small child running around. It felt like my lungs were hardening, breathing becoming more difficult.

“Aiden!” Aiddson yelled out before muttering a few things that I couldn’t hear.

The call disconnected and then I heard another phone going off somewhere else in the house.

Running footsteps.

Door banging open.

A concerned Kai stood there with a panicked look on his face as he yelled out something.

Shit.

I was trying to breathe but every inhale felt raw, a struggle as my vision narrowed. Kai sat down beside me, soft words trying to help me calm but it wasn’t working like it usually did. Things were too far gone this time.

God, I hadn’t had a panic attack like this in over a year.

I hated it.

Another commotion distantly registered and then Dean was standing there. The alpha took stock of the situation quickly and helped move me so I was sitting on the floor.

His large hand gripped the back of my neck, grounding me as I finally registered how my body was trembling. Tears stung my eyes in shame as I gasped like I was getting air for the first time after drowning.

“Aiden, breathe with me. You’ve got this.”

“Stupid,” I managed to mumble out as I wheezed, my lungs feeling as if they were on fire. “I hate this.”

“I know, but we’ve got you,” he rumbled, the command of an alpha in his voice as he helped me calm down. “Kai, I want you to stay with him and help him come down from this. Jack and I will tell Tillie to come over another time. Say we had something come up and we can meet up tomorrow.”

“I’ll message her,” Jack said from somewhere behind Dean.

“No,” I protested, gasping out the words as if fighting my own body to achieve it.

I had more to say but simply couldn’t. The last thing I wanted was for her to see me like this, but I wasn’t going to rob my pack of seeing her.

“No,” Dean started but Kai cut him off.

“Let her come. I’ll stay with him here and if he’s feeling better we’ll come out. If not, just tell her he’s not feeling well. Tillie will understand but if we want to be a pack we can’t lie to her. She deserves our honesty,” Kai said definitively, as if he picked the words straight from my brain. It was one of his rare serious moments. He always seemed to be putting on a show of being this happy, well-adjusted person.

Maybe this was the real Kai underneath.

My chest ached as I pulled in another breath. Dean’s hand left my neck and Kai shifted closer, placing his palm flat against my chest. The warmth of his hand seeped through my shirt.

I let my eyes fall closed, focusing on the steady warmth as they talked around me. Kai’s voice was sharp with them and soft with me. It was strange, just different enough for my brain to properly process it.

Then it was quiet.

His hand stayed on my chest as I forced myself to breathe in and out. I didn’t overthink the fact that this beta in particular was calming me, I just stayed in the moment until it felt like my body was my own again.

“Better?” he whispered.

I finally opened my eyes to find him sitting closer than I expected, his amber eyes warm and soothing. His soft scent of ocean air and cedar was familiar.

“Yes,” I managed.