Page 14 of Stay Here Forever

“I’m not. But it’s no wonder you’re having troubled dreams, being twisted so uncomfortably on this small settee. Come with me.” She grabbed his hands and pulled him up, turning toward the bedroom.

“Audrey, no. It’s not appropriate.”

“Hush. You shouldn’t suffer simply because I’ve unexpectedly shown up and turned you from your bed. Besides, I think we could both use some comfort tonight.”

Thankfully, Luke didn’t argue further and followed her into the room. She gently pushed him onto the bed before crawling in after him and nestling into his warmth.

“This isn’t right,” he said with a sigh, even as he closed his arms around her, resting his chin on top of her head while she nosed into the hollow of his neck.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Met with silence, Audrey resigned herself to asking again in the morning.

“I had a dream about Waterloo. It’s haunted me for the past few months.”

Audrey pulled back and rested her head on the pillow beside him so she could look at him as he talked, recounting what he needed to.

“I can’t imagine what you’ve seen,” she said, threading her fingers through his silky chestnut locks. His eyes were shadowed, but she imagined being able to see the pain that must be there.

“I don’t feel like I should be haunted this way. What right do I have? I didn’t fight, I shouldn’t have anything to complain about.” He stopped for a minute and leaned into her, resting his forehead against hers as she continued running her fingers across his scalp.

“As a diplomat, I never experienced the kind of danger those men faced. And so much of it was at my doing. I was one of the men telling the generals how to maintain Great Britain’s interests. I bolstered the argument that they needed to keep fighting. Many of them were so young, just boys, really.” His voice broke, and she could hear his tears through the thickness in his throat. “I may not have given the direct orders, but I helped send them to their deaths, and for what?”

“Oh, Luke. You were doing your job, trying to bring peace so they wouldn’t have to fight.” She stopped her ministrations to hold his head, then looked directly at him in the crack of light peeking through the curtains. “When you ask what for, do you truly believe that their deaths were meaningless or that you could have done things differently?”

He inhaled deeply, taking a moment to think before answering her. “No. I still believe that given Napoleon’s actions, we had to respond. The man was on a mission to seize all of the continent and needed to be stopped. Those countries had their own sovereignty and rights, and the threat he posed, his dangerous actions could not be left unchallenged.”

Audrey placed her hand over Luke’s heart. “You are a good man, Lucas Kent. You acted honorably and did the best you could in terrible circumstances. I’m not saying you should forget the sacrifices those men made in defending us and their king, but you can’t take it all on yourself either.”

Luke exhaled and kissed her forehead again. “Thank you,” he murmured. It was the last either of them said before falling back asleep, this time in the comfort of one another’s arms.

CHAPTER 9

Luke awoke feeling more rested than he had in a long time. Still groggy, he wasn’t sure why this morning should feel so different until he rolled over and his face landed in soft, chocolate-colored curls that smelled faintly of lemons.

Of course, Audrey. After everything that happened with this resilient woman yesterday, how could he forget? He was humbled remembering the way she comforted him, when just hours before her life had so drastically changed, her perception of almost the past decade of her life different from what she’d believed.

Luke observed her as she slept, watching silently until her long lashes began to flutter, sending small, wing-shaped shadows dancing across her lovely cheekbones.

With a large stretch and a yawn, Audrey rolled over to face him, and Luke found himself looking deep into her beautiful hazelnut eyes. She smiled, then before he could even properly greet her, leaned in and kissed him.

It was gentle, but also claiming. Audrey knew what she wanted and didn’t hesitate. Luke wanted to groan with the sheer pleasure of feeling her lips on his own at last, something he’d longed for since that Season eleven years prior. Breaking the kiss, she pulled back just far enough to look him in the eye and read his reaction before leaning in again, this time with more pressure.

After the near miss under the tree yesterday and all the revelations that came after, it was a goddamn miracle that Audrey still wanted to kiss him today. When she tentatively parted her lips and took his lower one between hers, he lost all sense of whether or not this was a good idea and grabbed the back of her head, pulling her soundly into him. She let out a purr of pleasure and attacked him with renewed vigor, adding a small nip to the lip she’d been fondling.

Luke could drown in the sensations she was stirring. The feel of Audrey in his arms, body stretched out next to his, felt like a missing piece clicking into place. It didn’t matter that she was still fully clothed, he could feel the heat of her searing through the fabric as she plastered herself to him. He’d dreamed of having her in such a position for years. And though his time with Inez had ameliorated the pain of losing Audrey before, it didn’t lessen the impact of having this particular wish fulfilled.

An unknown span of time passed with Luke simply enjoying her, content to explore lazy kisses with her all day long. But when Audrey sought to intensify things yet again, throwing her leg over his hip, logic at last won out.

“Audrey.” He said her name like a prayer as he pulled away, drawing in large breaths and trying to bring his pulse back into a steady rhythm. Loath to lose contact between them, he leaned his forehead against hers, while knowing that this fleeting interlude was necessary for him to have any kind of coherent thought.

“We should talk about this before we go any further. Much has happened, and there is a lot to discuss. I don’t want to take advantage before everything is sorted.”

“I know you understood me yesterday,” she said, panting slightly as her cheeks colored at the admission. “I’m not some innocent miss you need to protect. I know what I’m doing, and I know that I want you.” She threaded her fingers through his hair, pulling him toward her once again, and he savored her kiss for another minute before forcing himself to break away.

Luke’s controlled retreat caused her to rear backward. He wasn’t sure what to read of her expression, with her brow pulling low and her mouth puckering, she might be either sad or confused. “You don’t want me then? Or is it that you are repelled by my lack of virtue?” Rolling away from him, she pressed her hand over her eyes as if to hide herself.

“Audrey, no.” He sat up and leaned against the headboard, pulling her into his embrace. She buried her face in his neck, and he felt traces of wetness. His guts roiled thinking that he caused her any uncertainty regarding his feelings for her.

“Not wanting you is certainly not the issue. Audrey, I’ve desired you since your first Season when you were just nineteen years old.” She pulled away to look up at him at his declaration, and he held her gaze, wanting to make sure she understood just how long he had regarded her. “I grew to respect you while helping Felix organize the estate following your father’s passing. You were so capable and kind—and beautiful. You stayed on my mind, and I was anxious to become reacquainted as you made your debut, to see what might be. And I was just as enchanted with you when I saw you again that night.”