Page 12 of Stay Here Forever

Luke was livid and couldn’t do anything other than glare at Felix’s back. Audrey took in a deep breath and rose, making her way to the sideboard where Felix kept his liquor. Slamming a heavy crystal tumbler on top of the polished mahogany, she poured a hefty fingerful of scotch into the glass.

“Audrey—what? Don’t drink that,” Felix said, starting toward her.

“No!” She raised her hand holding the tumbler, pointer finger extended toward her brother. “You don’t get to tell me what I can and can’t do. Eight years. Eight years, Felix!” A large swallow followed, quickly chased by a bout of coughing as the alcohol hit the back of her throat. She soon adopted Felix’s pacing, shaking her head while opening and closing her mouth.

“I’m sorry, Audrey.” Felix collapsed into the chair that Audrey had vacated, holding his head in his hands.

“Why?” Luke asked him, not recognizing the man he once called his friend.

“Why what?” Felix mumbled from between his arms.

“Why did you never tell her the engagement had been dissolved? Why did you let her go on believing that she was betrothed to Rufus for all that time? What could have possessed you to be so cruel?”

Audrey was staring at her brother, waiting for him to answer what could have possibly motivated him to stay silent for so long.

Felix looked at Audrey, desperation pouring from his expression and defeated posture. “I didn’t want to lose you. If you knew you were free, you would have found and married another after you got over your heartbreak.”

Stunned silence reigned in the room, no one daring to move as minutes passed. Luke decided it was best to wait and follow Audrey’s lead, indicating what she wanted to happen next.

“You may be the most selfish person I have ever met,” she declared. Felix winced at his sister’s words, but with the way her head was shaking, nostrils flared, Luke had the feeling she was just getting started. “You let me make a fool of myself. It’s no wonder people look upon me as a sad spinster to be pitied everywhere I go.” She was pacing again and gesticulating wildly as she recounted the impact of Felix’s deception.

“The longer I waited, the further I fell into some kind of alternate reality. Because the truth was too painful—that the man I loved had left me without a word for years. But I convinced myself that he still loved me, that he would return and we would be married and happy. Otherwise, what did it say about me that I could be so easily forgotten?” Luke cringed at the picture she was painting; however, he was glad to be learning about what really happened while he was away. “And you—you just let me live in the delusion, so long as I could still ensure you had a satisfying tea each day.”

Tears were streaming down Audrey’s face, and he wanted to hold her, let her know everything would be all right. But he also knew that she needed to get this out.

“Oh, god. How pathetic I must have seemed, how you must have laughed at me behind my back.” Felix blanched, head shaking in disagreement, but she continued. “I should have realized two weeks ago when Victoria came to me crying about Mr. Kirkland leaving before he could propose. She feared it was due to a lack of dowry. How did I not put all the pieces together? That day, I finally awoke to the fact that Rufus was probably never going to return for me, but I couldn’t fathom why. I guess now I know.”

That’s why Audrey was so shaken when he encountered her in the park? She realized she’d been abandoned by Rufus? No wonder she had never wanted to discuss it with him.

“The way that I loved him . . .” Audrey stopped her pacing and closed her eyes. “No, the way I believed that I loved him—” Another sob broke through. “I gave him everything, everything, and you let him discard me like I didn’t matter? All the while letting me believe that it had meant something to him and that he’d come back to me someday?”

Felix leaped up and grabbed hold of his sister. “Are you telling me that he took your innocence. That blackguard! I’ll have his head for this. How could you, Audrey?”

Luke rose to defend her, but Audrey intervened, fully capable of taking care of herself. “Don’t you dare judge me, Felix!” She pushed him away and stuck her finger in his face. “You have relinquished your right to ever comment on or attempt to direct my life ever again. You no longer need be concerned for me. I’ll make my own way from here.” She turned and bolted down the remaining scotch from her tumbler before walking out of the library.

Felix practically collapsed onto the rug in front of the fire, and Luke decided it was time to leave. He had much to think over, and he wanted to give Audrey space to deal with the revelations of the day.

“I hope you’re proud of yourself,” he said to his old friend before closing the library door. “You may have just severed your relationship with your sister forever. I’ll have the clothes washed and sent back to you.”

CHAPTER 8

Audrey could hear the entryway clock chiming midnight below her as she tossed and turned. Exhausted by the day’s events, she had retired early, yet sleep wouldn’t come. Her mind was racing, the new revelations repeating on a loop in her thoughts, none of them leading anywhere productive.

She was furious with her brother, still unable to fathom how he could have deceived her for so long. She hadn’t seen him since leaving the library, refusing to go down to dinner and instead requesting that a tray be sent to her room, though she could hardly eat anything with the sour feeling in her stomach.

Her head throbbed from the emotional turmoil. The drenching from earlier in the day probably wasn’t helping matters either. A frustrated groan escaped her as she turned over again, and the tangled sheets ensnared her foot.

“Enough!” Audrey sat up and wrestled herself free of the linen cage, hating how defeated she felt. But it was difficult to not feel utterly inept when her reality was crumbling before her through a succession of tremors unsparing in their destruction. Everything she thought she’d known about her life had been completely upended not just once, but twice within the confines of October. She had to get out, as she couldn’t stand her own pathetic presence one moment longer. And she needed a friend—there was only one person she could think of who fit that description.

A deep longing for Luke rushed through Audrey so powerfully she almost stumbled climbing out of bed. Yes, it was the middle of the night, but she needed to be anywhere but here in this house, where she had been so betrayed. Throwing on a dress she could fasten independently, she wrapped a shawl securely around herself and headed downstairs. Trying not to wake anyone, she crept through the entrance hall in her stockings, only pausing to put on her half boots once she was outside on the stoop, the door clicking softly closed behind her.

She’d never been to Luke’s flat, but her brother had pointed out the building years before. At the time, he grumbled about how the Kent viscountcy could afford a townhome and bachelors quarters in the city, while he scrambled to keep their home in a somewhat comfortable state. Why that piece of information had stayed with her, Audrey wasn’t sure, but she was glad to recall it now as she set out on foot.

Twenty minutes later found her outside Luke’s door. She hesitated before knocking, right hand raised in a fist but unable to bring herself to rap on the door. What was she doing? Showing up here in the middle of the night was beyond proper, but her need to see Luke was consuming, and soon she forced herself forward, rapidly tapping her knuckle against the solid wooden slab. She was just about to knock again but heard shuffling from inside, and she exhaled in relief.

A disheveled and oh-so-handsome Luke opened the door, peering into the dark hallway.

“Audrey? What on earth are you doing here? It’s the middle of the night.”