Page 53 of White Noise

I realize the technician has been waiting for me to answer.

“Sorry. What?”

“I said we can have someone there tomorrow afternoon to inspect the equipment.”

I stare at the black television across the room and take another drink of my energy drink, even though it stopped tasting good twenty minutes ago.

“Sure. Whatever.”

He starts explaining the appointment window.

I don’t care.

“Just send someone.”

I hang up before he can give me another version of we don’t know what happened.

For a while, I stay on the stool staring at my phone.

Nothing feels different.

That might be the worst part.

Morning sunlight is coming through the balcony doors. Traffic moves somewhere below me. My refrigerator hums. The energy drink sweats onto the counter.

Everything looks completely fucking normal.

Eventually, sitting there waiting for another screen to flicker starts making me feel worse, so I clean. The condo isn’t even remotely dirty, but I need something to do with my hands.

I wipe down the counters, load the pathetic excuse of dirty dishes into the dishwasher, and fix the blankets on the couch. Then I move upstairs and strip the bed even though the sheets are clean, throw them into the washer and stand under a shower hot enough to turn my skin pink.

By the time I get out, I’m exhausted enough that my brain finally shuts up for a few minutes.

I wrap myself in a towel, stare into the bathroom mirror and decide I look like someone who spent the night being psychologically tortured by her electronics.

Which as rude as it is, is pretty fucking accurate.

Food comes next.

Actual food, not more caffeine in a can.

I make eggs and toast because both require almost no effort, force myself to eat everything and refuse to think about the fact that I keep glancing at my phone between bites.

Nothing happens.

No strange messages. No static, and no Silas.

Around noon, I finally open my socials.

The messages from last night are already piling up.

Where were you?

No stream??

VioletHex abandoned us

You okay?