Page 10

Screams.

A hand over my mouth.

Muffled screams that nobody heard.

I pulled my legs to my chest, making myself smaller, and rested my head on my knees.

I wished my stepfather hadn’t rescued me from the kidnappers. Then I wouldn’t have fucked up so badly. I would surely be dead by now, and I wouldn’t feel anything anymore. I wouldn’t be alone.

Some nights, I needed alcohol to forget. Others, I took pills to help me sleep. And many nights, I did both.

It offered a small reprieve at best.

And then, the following day, everything would start over.

These memories would be the death of me.

I sat in the armchair, my knees still pressed against my chest, gripping the shawl around me. My eyes were locked on the darkness outside my window while the fire crackled inside, bringing shadows to life all around me.

It was well past midnight, and I shuddered, my soul shaking like a leaf, at the thought of closing my eyes.

Nightmares always found me, and tonight, I wasn’t strong enough to battle them.

My gaze flicked to the sleeping pills and the bottle of Jack that sat on the little table next to me. It would offer short-lived relief, but they made me feel like shit.

“Just a bit longer,” I whispered to myself, delaying the inevitable by staying awake. I needed rest, and those pills offered a way to get through the dreams.

I tightened the shawl around me despite the heat coming from the fireplace.

It was funny—not really—how a single event could change you so much.

My childhood was fairly normal.

I had a loving mother and a biological father who was mean to my mom. He was okay—I guess—toward me and my baby sisters. They were too young to pick up on any of it, but I did.

My biological father made my mom cry often, and even though she hid it, I knew it was a result of their fights.

So when he died, I wasn’t terribly upset. In fact, I was happy our home was quiet, and even more so that my mom no longer cried.

Then Kristoff came into the picture and he was really good to my mom. He took care of her, and was amazing all the way around.

Life was good.

When I went to college, it was without a single worry on my mind. Kristoff took care of my tuition, gave me a generous allowance, and I was so lucky to have a best friend like Kai. My roommates were okay, although a bit out of touch, and always cooking up a party or a shenanigan.

It was how I ended up in a sex club, kissing Tyran Callahan. Of course, at that time, I didn’t know he was a mobster.

God, that first kiss.

I still couldn’t decide whether to wish more had happened or curse that even that single kiss had because it had ruined me.

I stared at the night, but all I could see was that day I bumped into Tyran Callahan.

I ran into him—literally—and nothing had been the same since.

When our gazes locked, my vision dimmed while those blue eyes made my heart ping-pong in my chest.

We exchanged a few words and then his mouth was on mine. His one hand fisted my hair and his other wrapped around my neck while he kissed me like a starved man.