Page 110 of Solo

I’m confused. And then I’m not. I shake my head. “No. Absolutely not. She’d never do that to me. She cares about me and what happens to me.”

“Does she? Does she really? And, if she does, are you sure her motives are just friendly?”

I open my mouth to tell him how wrong he’s got this, but I find the words are stuck in my throat. I’ve always known that Tessa has wanted more from our relationship than I was willing to give. I’ve never been ready for anything—for anyone—after Casey. And when I was, it was Katherine. Sure, if she knew, she might be upset. Pissed off, even. But only if she knew.

Holy. Shit.

She knew.

The force with which this realization hits me is enough to knock the breath from my body. I am such a fucking idiot. How could I have not seen it?

“Betrayal is a brutal thing,” the senator is saying even as my head is spinning. “There’s the impact of the betrayal itself. Then there is the aftermath. The sting of knowing that someone you trusted has intentionally inflicted injury upon you.”

No, no, no. No way! Why? How? I can’t process the questions that are flitting through my mind.

“We’ve failed Katherine,” he says to me. “And I don’t know how either of us can ever make it up to her. I don’t know how she could ever forgive either of us. What I do know is that whether or not we can, she will. My daughter’s heart is bigger than the both of us, Drew.”

“I don’t know what to do,” I whisper, swiping at the rogue tears that have slipped past my once-steely veneer.

“Oh, I think you do. Get to the bottom of why this Tessa person is trying to hurt you and Katherine. Then you make it right with my daughter. I think you’re the only one who can.”

I’m on my feet and out the door before we can exchange another word. And all I can think is that I hope to God he’s right.

…

The door swings open so hard that it slams into the adjacent wall and rattles the windows of Tessa’s office. She doesn’t jump. She doesn’t gasp. She doesn’t even look alarmed.

“Why?” I ask, breathlessly.

I can see by the look on her face that I don’t need to explain what I’m asking. She already knows.

Tessa shrugs. “Five years is a long time to wait for the next tenure slot to open up, Drew.”

“But—but you’re my friend!”

Now she smirks at me and her face twists into a sneering mask.

“Friend. Yeah, that’s exactly what I’ve been. Sweet Tessa. Dear Tessa. Good old Tessa. Always there for you to talk to, cry on her shoulder. Tessa who was there to pick up the pieces when that psycho bitch Casey killed herself. I was patient, Drew. Oh, was I patient. I just knew there’d be a time when you were ready. And I’d be there, waiting for you with open arms. And you’d see me as more than just your buddy.”

I shake my head in disbelief. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Now she’s shaking her head. “Such an imbecile you are, Drew. So blind. But you know what? I’m not blind, Drew.”

“Tessa, you don’t know what you’re talking about—”

“Don’t I?” she spits at me. “Funny, how Kate shows up with a new coat and accessories from one of my favorite stores right after you ask my advice on where to get a gift for your mother. Didn’t think I caught that one, did you? Well I did,” she informs me snidely. “And, Christ, Drew, the way you and Russell Atherton were at each other’s throats and then…you weren’t. The way you’d smile when you thought no one was watching. Suddenly you weren’t complaining about Kate Brenner. Suddenly you were telling your old pal Danny what a great conductor she is and getting him all the way here to see her—that girl that you ‘hate’ so much. Yeah, I was watching, Drew. I saw all of it. And then, I made sure Kevin Kilpatrick saw it, too.”

She’s crazy. Totally, completely, certifiable. How could I have not seen this before now? I’m trying to decide how to respond to her little monologue when she opens the top drawer of her desk and pulls out a thin silver chain with a heart dangling from it. Engraved on the heart are the initials “KB.”

“What is that?”

“Why, it’s Kate’s bracelet! I suppose you didn’t notice it? Well I did. On several occasions, in fact. And then, I spotted it in a very interesting place. On the floor mat in your car that day we went out to Ruby’s.”

“So you took it?”

She shrugs. “I’m not even sure why I grabbed it. I just did. And I put it in my pocket for a rainy day. Well, guess what, Drew? It’s raining,” she says with a smile that sends a chill down my spine. “Oh, sure, I licked my wounds for a while, but then it struck me. Maybe I couldn’t have you but I could have your job. Something I wouldn’t get as long as you were qualified and eligible. That’s when I saw my opportunity.”

I know what’s coming and, for a moment, I consider getting up and walking out of this office before Tessa can say another word. But I realize that I can’t, because I deserve this. When Tessa was hurt, her first instinct was to destroy me. When I was hurt, my first instinct was to destroy Katherine. Yes, I deserve every putrid thing she’s about to tell me because I believed the worst of the person who I loved the most.