Page 41 of Axe Marks the Spot

“Lindsey,” I reprimand.

She sighs. “Sorry, Sir. I—” I hear her mattress creak again.

“It’s alright. Take your time.”

Her soft breathing comes through the phone for several seconds before she answers. “Things in my life these last few years have not been easy. I have someone who depends on me.”

“Besides your patients?” I ask curiously. Her questionnaire said she’s single, so if not a partner, then who?

“Yes.” She exhales. “Every time I do something for me, I feel like I’m taking away from them.”

“I see. And do they feel that way?”

“No. At least, I don’t think so. But I work a lot, and when I’m not working, I’m catching up on things around the house. So I don’t see them as often as I’d like.”

I won’t deny an emotion that feels a lot like jealousy sparks. I want to know who this person is, why they take so much of her time, and why she cares so much for them, even if it’s none of my business. My submissives aren’t required to tell me about every little thing in their lives. The more I know, the easier it is for me to help them, but with the kind of D/s relationship we form, it’s not required.

I run my tongue over my teeth and check myself. These aren’t things I should be feeling right now.

“Have they expressed anger at you for taking time for yourself?” I ask.

“Not directly, no.”

“Yet you assume they’d be mad if you took only an hour for yourself?”

“I guess it sounds silly when you say it like that.”

“It’s not silly if that’s how you feel. It is obviously something that bothers you, that is true for you.”

“It’s in my nature to care for others. It feels wrong when I do things for myself.”

My impulse to take care of her as her Dom wells in my chest. She’s not ready for a firmer hand, so I intentionally keep my tone soft and gentle. “What if I told you that when you do something for yourself, you’re not taking away from others? You’re making sure you have something to give in the first place.”

She laughs softly, and the sound relaxes the muscles in my shoulders. “I would say that sounds logical.”

“If you give and you give and you give, eventually, you will have nothing left.”

“Do you take time for yourself, Sir?”

Her question stuns me for a second. I’ve gotten so used to my submissives never asking about me. Some tried when we first started working together, but I always reiterated I was there for them. They only knew what they needed to know to build a foundation for our relationship, and that was that.

“Are you asking to avoid what you’re feeling or because you want to know?” I ask.

Her soft laugh floats through the phone again, but this time, it sounds a little nervous. “Both, I think. You seem like a busy man. How do you take care of yourself when you’re caring for your submissives and”—I hear her lick her lips—“filming all your online content?”

I decide to answer her, justifying it by telling myself the information will help her see it’s okay to take care of herself. “I make myself a priority. I have a schedule, and I follow it.”

“But what do you do?” I clear my throat, and she corrects herself. “But what do you do, Sir?”

“Do I get a please with that?” I retort.

Her intake of breath tells me that playfulness was out of line. I don’t know what it is about this woman, but she has thrown me off my game—a game I’ve become an expert at playing. Until now.

“Will you please tell me what you do to take care of yourself, Sir? I’d love to know.”

I shift in my chair, her obedience not helping to keep me on track. I pull myself together as much as I can and answer, “I give myself time to work out every day. It’s not always at the same time, but I run. I chop wood. Sometimes, I paint.”

“You paint, Sir?”