Page 40 of Praising the Pitcher

Slowly, he walks away, and now, it’s just me and one of my favorite people.

I don’t want to lie to her, even though I know it’s going to sound bad. Right now, I need to be brutally honest. It’s the only thing that could save this from sounding worse.

“I promise, we aren’t hooking up. But yes, it did start that night—kind of anyway.” I shrug sadly. “The day that everything happened with T—” The name dies in my throat. Haven’s expression softens.

“Tabor?” she whispers, finishing for me, and I nod.

“Yeah. Noah was there that day, and even though I didn’t want to make it about me, because it wasn’t about me, Have … I didn’t want to make it seem like it was, but …” I pause for a second. “I was struggling, and he was there.” I inhale slowly before letting it out. “For the next week or so, I couldn’t sleep. Whenever I’d close my eyes, it would replay in my mind all over. Tabor … you … the gun.” My vision blurs as tears gather in my eyes involuntarily. “The night we were all supposed to go to dinner, I was really struggling.”

Her hand squeezes mine as a pained expression fills her face.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t know,” she whispers, barely audible.

“It’s okay,” I say, attempting to give her a reassuring smile. “You were the real victim, Haven, not me. I didn’t want to add onto your plate and make it about me.” My gaze moves toward the parking lot where Noah stands, looking at his phone. “But your brother, he somehow knew I was struggling.” I chew my lip shamefully. “So yes, I have been staying with him. But not in the way you’re thinking.” A few tears stream down my cheeks as I try not to fall apart. “I just can’t sleep at The Nest. At least, I couldn’t, but maybe I’ll try again. And being in Noah’s dorm, as stupid as it probably sounds, it helped me sleep.” I look down. “I’m just sorry we didn’t tell you sooner.”

“Why didn’t you though?” she whispers, her lip trembling. “I hope you know I consider you one of my best friends, Geeg. If you’re struggling, I want you to talk to me about it.” Big tears gather in her green eyes. “I’m so sorry you’ve been going through that. And I’m even more sorry I didn’t know.” She looks down. “I guess I’ve been so wrapped up in my relationship and finally getting everything I’ve ever wanted with Dallas that I just … have had my head up my own ass.” She cringes. “And to be honest, I wasn’t sleeping well either, and I guess I just…didn’t realize. I’m so sorry. I’m a shitty friend.”

“No, you aren’t,” I say quickly, grabbing her hands. “I didn’t say anything because, well, I guess I felt like you were the one who should be struggling, not me.”

“Gigi, you were there too that day,” she says sadly. “You have every right to be struggling.” She inhales. “I just hope you know you can always come to me. I’m never too busy for my friends. Ever.”

“I know.” I nod, throwing my arms around her and hugging her tightly. “Sorry I kept you in the dark.”

“Sorry I’ve been too busy in the honeymoon phase to know what the heck is going on around me,” she says sadly just before I release her.

Keeping my hands in hers, her eyes stare into mine. “Just promise me something, okay? Well, two things.”

“Anything,” I say honestly.

“One, you’ll always come to me when you’re struggling. And two—” She pauses before cringing. “And two, you’ll be careful when it comes to my brother.”

The way she says the second part makes my stomach ache. Maybe he isn’t who I think he is? Before I can ask, she sighs.

“Noah has one of the biggest hearts I know. He’s a good human with the best intentions. But, he got hurt a while back, like I told you, and since then, I don’t think he has the ability to be what anyone needs in a relationship.” She grimaces. “He will—eventually. But right now, he’s just out to have fun.”

“I’m telling you, it isn’t like that with us,” I assure her.

I don’t tell her he’s celibate right now, because that would just make this whole thing a little weirder. Besides, who knows if he actually is. There are a lot of hours in the day we don’t talk.

At that thought alone, my chest hurts, even though it has no right to.

“You say that now,” she says, an unreadable expression on her face. “But I know my brother. He doesn’t have girls who are just friends. And I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I won’t. I promise,” I say, smiling to add in a little more reassurance, even though it’s partly forced because, deep down, I know Noah already has the ability to hurt me, even if I’m trying to hide it from myself and everyone else.

I care about him. And I kind of wish I didn’t.

She doesn’t look convinced, but eventually, she nods and hugs me once more before releasing me.

“All right.” She takes my hand, pulling me along with her toward her brother. “Can I punch him just once in the junk?”

I can’t tell if she’s serious or not. With Haven, it’s hard to say. Either way, I shrug. “That’s between you and him.”

When we reach Noah, I half expect her to do it, but instead she steps in front of him and says something so low I can’t even hear what it is. It’s short, but within seconds, he nods and she walks around him.

“See you in the morning, Geeg,” she calls over her shoulder. “Love you!”

“Love you too,” I say back, confused by whatever just happened between her and Noah, but I don’t want to be pushy and ask him, so instead, I just shrug.