Page 78 of Saving The Shortstop

“Everything is like a championship,” I deadpan, because … it sort of is. I just really, really love to win.

Just not as much as Gigi …

“With you it is, Short. Even with a game of Yahtzee.” He grins, twisting back and forth slightly before his motions stop. “I’d really like to take you somewhere to talk if that’s okay?” When I look toward the rest of the crowd, searching for my brother, he reaches up, touching my chin. “I’ll have you back before he even realizes we’re gone.”

I look at him and then back at my brother, who is at some claw machine. I smile because some things never change. That kid has always been obsessed with those, even after I’ve showed him countless videos that they’re a scam. I want to hear what Dallas has to say, but my brother has been so cool about us being together even though Dallas is his best friend who’s now dating his sister. I want to make sure we aren’t ditching him on his birthday. But when I see Noah having the time of his life, I know that Dallas is right. Noah won’t even notice we’re gone because there are too many people here to celebrate him.

Dallas holds his hand out, and of course, because I’m a sucker for this man, I take it after a few seconds and let him lead me out of the noisy arcade. We walk through the back door and outside behind the building. It’s actually warmer out than it was earlier today, putting it in the low fifties. It’s dark, but under the building lights, I can see him perfectly.

He closes the door behind us and looks down at me.

“I’m sorry that I was such a dick the other night.” Shame fills every crevice of his face, and he grimaces. “I know that you meant well when you brought up the stuff about testing, and it wasn’t right of me to bite your head off the way I did.” He swallows roughly, his eyes darting down. “I don’t like to talk about the past much because, at the expense of sounding dramatic, my past is pretty dark. And when you said that, about me needing extra help, I just—” He stops, shrugging, and his eyes move back to mine, even though it’s obvious this is hard for him. “It took me back to those feelings I had growing up. The ones where I felt so fucking stupid, so worthless, even though I know that you just want the best for me.”

I take my hands in his, gazing up. “I’m so sorry that I triggered you, D,” I whisper, my bottom lip trembling. “I would never, ever want to cause you pain. I’m sorry that I did.”

“I know,” he murmurs. “The day my parents both died, my dad was beating me because the school had called him with their concerns about my learning ability and my grades. My mom shot him because she’d finally had enough of him hurting us, I guess.” As he speaks, telling his heartbreaking story, I try not to fall apart because right now, he needs me to be strong. He’s never opened up to me this way before, and I can’t make it about myself.

Somehow, right in front of me, I watch him transform into a sad, broken boy with a lost soul. Yet he pushes through and continues on.

“My mom told me to run, and at the time, I thought she just meant before the cops came.” He looks at the ground, flinching. “It was actually because she was planning to commit suicide once she knew I was gone.” He shrugs. “Something about the other night—about hearing out loud that something may be stopping me from keeping up with my classes, it just … it took me back to that day it all happened.” He inhales slowly. “And when you heard me screaming in my sleep, that was why.”

My heart shatters in my chest, shredding into a million pieces before it feels like it’s being completely yanked out. I want to hold him; I want to do anything to take this pain away. I don’t know how he’s even the man he is today after going through all that. I knew his past was sad, but I didn’t know it was this shattering.

“I’m so sorry,” I whisper, my hands holding his tightly. Tears blur my vision, but I fight to keep them at bay. “I—I’m just so sorry that it was my fault that you had to relive that day in your dream.” I’m ashamed of myself, wishing I could just take it all back. I know he could qualify for accommodations, but the last thing I’d want is for his education to bring him this amount of stress.

He’s quiet, not looking at me but looking down as if he’s trying to process something. Finally, his eyes lift to mine.

“I’m not sorry, because now I know what I never did before,” he croaks. “My mom wasn’t as selfish as I’ve always thought she was. Because even though she took her own life and left me here, she made sure that monster would never be able to hurt me again before she did.” He lifts both our hands, wiping his cheeks with the back of his own. “Her decision led me to the family I have now. My real, true family—even without having the same blood.” His lashes are tear soaked. “My mother wasn’t the best mom, but in the end, she made the decision to keep me safe.”

One hand drops mine, and he moves it to cup my cheek. “Without you bringing up what you did and wanting more for me, I never would have realized that.” He leans closer. “I would have continued to carry the guilt around that it was my fault for leaving her instead of seeing the other side of it.” His nose touches mine, his eyes burrowing into my eyes. “I was afraid to show you my past because I didn’t want you to see how unlovable I was as a kid. I wanted to hide the ugly parts, and I think the idea of testing scared me because I didn’t want you to know how much I really struggle.” He sighs. “But I want to be better than I am. I want to let go of the past. So yeah, Short. I’ll do the testing because maybe … maybe I’m not stupid after all.”

“You’re the furthest thing from stupid, D,” I practically sob, unable to help myself. “You’re also the strongest, bravest person I know. And I promise you, with my whole heart, I love you right now, in this raw, real moment more than I ever have before.” I press my mouth to his. “Because I see all of you.” I kiss him again, tears running down both our faces. “Thank you for showing me. I know how hard it must have been for you.”

“You make it easier to show you all of me,” he murmurs against my mouth, “because you don’t run away from the darkness, Haven. You stand up to it.”

When his hand slides into my hair, he kisses me deeply, and I swear I feel this kiss throughout my entire body, from my head to my toes. Dallas touches every cell because, for the first time since I’ve known him, he’s not wearing a mask or hiding.

And with me, he’ll never have to.

DALLAS

If someone asked me to explain the feeling that’s going on inside me right now, I wouldn’t be able to tell them without sounding crazy. It feels like, brick by brick, a heaviness is being lifted off my shoulders, slowly evaporating into the air. I didn’t realize how much weight I’d been carrying until I was forced to unveil the past and face it head on.

I felt lighter when I talked to my parents about this earlier, but after unleashing what I did to Haven, finally telling her everything that I’d been carrying around because I didn’t want her to look at me differently, she didn’t run. Instead, she embraced me and reminded me that she loves me—more right now than even before knowing how dark my past is.

For the first time since my mom died, I don’t think about her and feel hatred. Instead, I feel bad. Bad that she wasn’t able to get the help she needed. And sad because I can’t imagine how depressed she was to live the way that she had been living and feeling like she had to make the decision to take her own life.

My hand is tangled in Haven’s hair and I kiss her roughly, not even giving a shit to come up for air because right now, I just want to be close to her.

Gripping her hip, I push her up against the brick building and slide my hand over her leggings. Heat pumps from between her legs, and I groan into her mouth because even though I know we should be getting back to the birthday party, I need to feel her wrapped around me.

Sliding her leggings down, I’m not surprised that she isn’t wearing panties, and my quickly hardening dick twitches. I slide my hand between her bare thighs before dragging my finger across her slit and slipping a finger inside. She’s soaked, and I don’t tease her because I’d lose my mind doing that. I need her right now, so with my free hand, I undo my belt before yanking my jeans down just enough for my cock to spring free. The air may not be the warmest, but I don’t think the Arctic Ocean could soften the way I need her right now.

“I need you,” I rasp into her mouth. “I need you so bad.”

“I’m right here, D,” she whispers, pushing her leggings down further with one hand and kissing me once more.

I lift her up, keeping her back to the building. I’m not gentle when my cock presses into her heat, instead bringing her quickly down onto my length. She cries out against my lips, making me slow my motions before I start fucking her.