Page 21 of All the way home

“Very. Uncanny. Except—I mean, they don’t really, actually look that alike, right?”

“Same vibe,” Rena says, because it’ll make Lucas laugh, and it does.

Lingering behind Kieran, Not-Josiah wears unease like a comfortable sweatshirt. Rena considers him, trying to determine what’s striking her as so familiar.

It’s the way he stands, she decides. Watching Josiah next to Kieran had given her the exact same impression. Where Kieran exists in the world like he’s about to tell a joke, both Josiah and this Not-Josiah seem to exist in the world like they’re ten seconds from a heart attack.

Rena rubs her temples, sinking a little lower in her seat.

“Rena,” Lucas admonishes. “It’s not your responsibility. He’s not your responsibility.”

“So you keep saying,” she mutters, and even she can hear the note of steel in her tone.

They’re wandering dangerously close to the rerun of a familiar fight. The only fight that seems to matter recently.

“All I’m saying is that he’s going to make his own mistakes. There’s nothing you can do about that.”

The back of her throat goes tight.

As usual, Lucas doesn’t get the stakes. It’s not really his fault, considering how many chapters he’s missing from the story, so she can’t hold it against him, but he does know how far they have to fall. A little tact would be nice.

“You could just let him crash and burn,” Lucas offers, which is entirely unhelpful, since they both know full well that’s not going to happen.

Glowering, Rena huffs. Before she can stop herself, she’s blurting out, “What, like I did last year?”

It’s a low blow. Lucas sits back, rubbing his face. “Jesus, Rena. You know I didn’t mean it like that.”

The stale air leftover from their fight this morning hangs between them.

She’s too warm, all of a sudden. The noise of the airport is stifling, and it’s her own fault, dragging last Christmas into this, the dead horse she’s refused to touch for nearly twelve months.

Humiliatingly, her view of the sleeping old man across the aisle blurs. Rena bites the inside of her cheek, hard, and turns her head away from Lucas so he won’t see.

“You haven’t heard from him recently, have you?” Lucas’s tone is light and careful.

“Who?”

“Josiah.”

With a hard knot still lodged in her throat, Rena shakes her head.

“What was the last thing he said to you?”

It doesn’t matter if Lucas really wants to know or if he’s just trying to change the subject. Grateful, Rena straightens and thumbs over to her thread with Josiah. The last few messages are just depressing.

Is Kieran ok?

Did I do something

I don’t know.

What does that mean

He didn’t tell me anything.

Wtf Rena

Don’t lie to me