Page 147 of All the way home

“And I think you see me too.”

Wordlessly, Zach nods. And there are probably a dozen things he should say, but the way he wants to kiss Kieran again is making everything else feel overrated.

“So,” Kieran whispers. “I guess one of us is going to have to be brave again.”

Chapter Forty-Seven

Rena

So it’s come to this.

It’s come to Rena and a crowded gate and a choice.

Even though it’s still not cold in the airport, her teeth chatter. Is she really going to do this? Can she do this? Is now the right time? The idea of breaking up at all sparks a flare of panic so severe that she has to stop before she’s even started.

Breathe.

Breathe.

Nausea forms a snarl in her gut. Slowly, breathing deep, Rena says, “You asked me what I want.”

“I did.” Lucas shifts in his seat. “Kind of regretting that one, if I’m honest.”

Nervous laughter stays trapped in her throat.

Lucas sighs, long and quiet.

“I don’t want to move in together,” she says, all at once, with as much definitive confidence as she can muster.

“I figured,” Lucas says, to his credit not sounding particularly bitter.

“And I think that’s a sign of a bigger issue.”

“Probably.”

“I think . . .” Rena struggles to articulate the night’s revelations concisely. “I think you deserve a lot more than I can give you.”

Lucas’s expression—strangled, devastated—makes her feel sick.

She takes a deep breath. “Ages ago, you asked me if I’m into women. And I’m not. I don’t think. I’m just . . . I don’t know what I am. But I don’t think I’m wired to feel what you want me to feel. And I know that’s the biggest cliché ever—I don’t want to be here saying It’s not you, it’s me, but I think it is.”

With a soft, fluttering sigh of an exhale, Lucas lets his head fall into his hands.

“I didn’t let myself think about it because I didn’t want it to end,” she admits, swiping at a tear.

Glum quiet stretches.

So.

That’s that.

Finally, Lucas asks, “Have you known for a long time?”

She shakes her head. “Have you?”

Instead of answering, he just keeps his head down.

Rena sits back, surprised. “Have you?”