Page 143 of All the way home

Lucas’s expression is tight and wary as he surveys Kieran. “Yeah, he did.”

Whipping his phone out of his pocket, Kieran frowns at the screen. “Did he say anything?”

Lucas scratches the side of his head and says nothing.

Kieran closes his eyes and presses the flat of his palm against his forehead. “What did you say?”

Rena’s heart sinks.

“What did you say?” Kieran repeats, loud enough that Gianni startles awake, blinking blearily around at them.

“I don’t know, exactly,” Lucas says. “He’d come back without you, and I just thought . . . I don’t know, I might have said something about your track record, and—”

“WHAT?” Rena explodes.

Lucas startles, wide-eyed. “I—sorry? I don’t know, I told him what happened with Josiah. I was just—”

“Oh hell.” Kieran rakes fingers through his hair, abruptly both wild and untethered, whirling around in a full circle. “Fuck. Fuck, I have to find him.”

He makes as if to walk away, then stops, turning on his heel back toward Rena.

At his swift, silent plea, she nods.

He holds her gaze for a moment longer, invisible, silent support, in his own way. Then he touches his hand to his pocket where his phone lives, gives her a pointed nod, and walks away.

Hugging her arms, Rena watches him go. Then she turns back to Lucas.

At whatever he sees on her face, he flinches. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“I’m not looking at you like anything.”

“No, you are. All . . . disappointed.” Lucas gestures helplessly. “Listen, I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

“I didn’t think—I guess I just—”

“Assumed Kieran had ruined it,” Rena finishes, maybe a bit more savagely than she means it.

“It wasn’t exactly a wild shot in the dark,” Lucas snaps.

Limbs heavy, Rena sits and leans forward, elbows on her knees.

The carpet pattern is bright. Blue base with purple and yellow and red tiny shapes zigzagging in every direction. Somehow, she hadn’t registered it before. How many hours has she been at this gate and not noticed the carpet?

“It wasn’t what we thought,” she says, at last. “With Josiah.”

Lucas pauses. “Oh?”

“There was more to it,” she says. “I think he was—I actually think he was kind of justified, all things considered.”

Because he’s Lucas, he doesn’t ask for details. He knows that if Rena is going to tell him, she’ll do it. Abruptly, it hits her that she’s been doing to him what Kieran’s been doing to her. Holding back, choosing what to say and when to say it, deciding that she knows best.

“I didn’t want to ruin it for him,” Lucas says faintly, but Rena thinks that might not be true.

She also thinks she can’t quite blame him for it.

“I keep hiding behind him,” she admits. “I’ve made you resent him.”