Page 133 of All the way home

Lifting an eyebrow, Kieran says, “Did he . . . ask you?”

Colorlessly, she says, “No.”

Kieran sits back as though by getting a wider vantage point he’ll somehow understand better. “So . . .”

“So, I think . . .”

Kieran waits.

It’s too hard. Rena can’t bring herself to say it. Not to him.

Instead, she finds herself saying, “I think there’s something wrong with me.”

Tilting his head, Kieran says, “There are many things wrong with you.”

There’s no bite to his words.

Rena rolls her eyes. “Unfortunately, I’m being serious.”

“So am I,” he says. “It’s part of your charm.”

“I mean something big,” she says. “I feel like . . . maybe there’s something missing.”

Kieran folds his arms and takes a deep breath. “Like what?”

“Like I already told you, Lucas and I argued this morning.”

He nods and stays silent.

“He wants to move in together next year.”

The fact that Kieran doesn’t remind her of the deal says more than if he had.

With Kieran, silence means either anger, or doubt.

This doesn’t read like anger.

“I said no,” she assures him. “Obviously.”

His face remains unreadable. “But did you want to say yes?”

Resolutely, she shakes her head.

“Okay,” he says, slowly. “So you don’t want to move in with him, and you don’t want to get married.”

“And he’s pretty close to perfect,” she whispers.

Slowly, Kieran says, “Right.”

It takes a long time for the courage to show up to say it. Eventually, with a breath that feels like a hiccup, she says, “I think it’s over.”

And Kieran’s expression is smooth and knowing. Expectant.

“You don’t seem that surprised.”

“I’m not.” Kieran lifts a shoulder. “I didn’t think you guys were going to be forever, no offense.”

“What?” She twists to face him, stomach turning over. “Why would you tell me that? Why didn’t you tell me that?”