Page 111 of All the way home

“How’s Kieran?” Siobhan asks, in that careful way she’s been asking after him for the last twelve months.

“Good. He’s made a friend tonight.”

They exchange a glance.

“Exactly like that, actually,” Rena says with a weary laugh.

“Is that . . .” Oscar trails off, scratching the side of his head. “Good?”

Trying not to let any of her misery leak out, Rena shrugs. “I guess so. He seems happy.”

The for now is left unspoken, but they’ll hear it anyway. She’s spent enough long, long hours on FaceTime with the two of them trying to parse all the horrific events of last year—trying to understand—that they know everything.

The lump in her throat grows so big it’s hard to talk. “I’ve gotta go,” Rena whispers. “Thanks for talking.”

“Text when you’re boarding, m’kay?” Oscar blows her a kiss.

“See you tomorrow!” Siobhan follows suit, going so far as leaning forward to kiss the camera before hanging up.

The silence that rushes to fill the vacuum is horrific.

Rena stares down at her fingers. At her left hand, at her empty ring finger. Had she ever imagined a ring there? She’s not sure it’s ever occurred to her.

She can’t think about it. Can’t think about any of it. Rena can’t go there.

But it’s rushing up toward her anyway, a merciless onslaught, headlights in the dark, and Rena comes back to the same question.

Are you and Lucas going to join us?

The brutal finality of the answer is a blow to the chest.

No.

Chapter Thirty-Six

Zach

“I can’t believe you talked her into giving you tape for free.” Zach shakes his head as he tears open the plastic on the gift wrap. The thing is, he can believe it, it’s just that nothing about Kieran really feels believable yet.

“Hey, you never get anything if you don’t ask.” Kieran pulls the tape out of his pocket and hands it over.

It would be easy for Zach to say something about pretty privilege right now, but honestly, if he has to admit how much he likes Kieran’s face, he might have to consequently have a little lie-down on the carpet, and that feels a little more debasing than he can take tonight.

They’re just around the corner from the gift shop, crouched by the wall.

Kieran observes as Zach sets about re-wrapping the journal, scarf, and keychain. The lantern and necklace he’ll leave unwrapped, because if he gives Dad or Anwen grinning snowmen, he thinks he might not be invited for Yule dinner.

“So, Seth with a heart,” Kieran starts, and Zach snorts and elbows him.

“Shut up. I seriously just forgot to change it.”

“I think I’m actually going to take this very personally.” Kieran sniffs. “Just my luck. I finally meet someone I like and he’s hung up on his ex.”

Zach accidentally tapes the paper to his thumb. The flush has reached the back of his neck, burning. Peeling the tape off his nail, he mutters, “I’d like it on the record that this is a narrative of your design, and not based on reality.”

“It’s based on facts. There’s a heart emoji involved.”

“You like me,” Zach blurts out, unable to help himself. It’s not quite a question, but the inflection is there.