Page 64 of Goode Tidings

"I realize that and I respect your answer, really I do. It's just that even though you said no, you're still walking in the direction of the place where I want you to go." Eden grins victoriously. "Can you please admit that you think it sounds just the teeniest, tiniest bit intriguing?"

"This feels like a trap."

"Don't be dramatic."

Eden strides in front of me, leading me down the sidewalk in the middle of town. She's wearing close-fitting yoga pants and a big sweatshirt. Her ponytailed hair swings back and forth, a pendulum rhythmically marking what is certain to be my next round of embarrassment in front of her. I am the opposite of limber. I might as well be a human two by four.

Eden sails confidently into the yoga studio. I creep in awkwardly, feeling (and looking) out of place.

"Callum?" Marie Claire asks loudly. And with gusto. The left side of her top lip curls in confusion, wrinkles stacking on her face. "Why are you here?"

This was not a good idea, just like I flipping said.

"He's with me," Eden cuts in, stepping up to my side. Her head tips and she smiles up at me, brown eyes gleaming.

Marie Claire looks at me warily. "You know you can't hurt the puppies, right?"

I…What? What kind of question is that?

"It's just that, well, look at you." She motions at my body.

I look down. Eden peers at me, trying to understand. My arms are crossed. My shoulders are bunched. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that I am probably frowning.

Eden nods. "You are kind of giving 'male Cruella de Vil'."

I release a loud, gusty sigh and uncross my arms. "Ladies. A man can be grumpy without being evil."

Marie Claire gives me a dirty look and turns away to help someone else.

"Why do you look like that?" Eden whispers.

I shrug. "Habit?"

The class is held in a different room. Eden leads me to the front corner and commandeers two mats laid side by side. The puppies are already there, fenced into a different corner with baby gates. "Marie Claire's dog had puppies ten weeks ago," Eden says. "She's hoping they'll get adopted if people see how cute they are."

"They are cute," I admit. Tiny dachshunds bounce all over the fenced-in area. They crawl over each other, fall down, roll over and pop back up.

The class starts, every mat occupied. The instructor goes over the rules for puppy yoga, which mostly consists of be aware of your space, and don't stand up while holding the puppies. The baby gate is unlatched, and the puppies descend.

On me. Every last one of them makes a beeline for me. It is as if they all, collectively, decided to force me to like them.

Eden laughs herself silly while snapping photos. Puppies on hind legs paw at my back. Curl into my lap. Climb over my legs and fall onto the mat. The instructor tosses miniature dog toys around the room to give other people an opportunity to be attacked by puppies, and they finally leave me alone.

I imitate Eden in what I'm told is child's pose. My thighs hardly open up enough to get my hips to settle between them. Eden smiles at me from the basic pose, top half flush with the mat. "You put dog treats in your pockets, didn't you?"

I look a beat too long at the long line of her torso, the way her pants curve over her ass. I've seen her practicing from a distance numerous times, but here she is next to me. "How else was I supposed to ensure they would smother me with doggy kisses?"

She smirks. I think she knows I was appreciating the sight of her. "I wish I had thought of that."

The instructor leads us through a forty-five minute class, but it's impossible to pay attention. The puppies bound from mat to mat, covering everyone with their exuberant love and energy. Also, Eden's beside me folding herself in half. It's a lot to ask of myself to focus when I have that happening so close to me.

At one point, a puppy lies down on my hand while I'm in downward dog. It closes its eyes and falls asleep. I do my best to modify each pose so as not to wake the puppy, until one of its littermates pounces on it and they run away together.

There are a few minutes of playtime after the class is over, and I get a few good pictures of Eden with the puppies before they are returned to their space behind the gate.

"Glad you didn't hold firm on that no?" Eden asks, sipping from her water bottle. No sweat of any kind was broken in that class. It should be renamed Stretch With Puppies.

"It was better than I thought it would be."