Page 124 of Goode Tidings

"Sorry about that."

"No you're not."

"You're right. I'm not at all sorry."

He sits back. "She's hard not to love. I don't blame you."

I send him a dirty look. "You don't get to decide you're still in love with her. You know that, right?"

"Of course I know that. And that's not what I'm doing." He fusses with the sleeve of his hoodie. I've never known him to be so fidgety, but it's been a while since I've really known him. Maybe he's a restless guy now. "Oliver had appendicitis. The same thing I had, and I didn't put it together!" He flings a hand at me. "You saved the day once again."

"I'm not going to apologize for that."

"I don't expect you to. Nor do I think you should. It's just annoying. I want to be Oliver's hero. I'm his dad."

My elbows find my knees, my hands steeple under my chin. "I'm going to say this as delicately as I can. If you want to be Oliver's hero, his dad, start acting like it."

He rolls the palms of his hands together between his knees. "I'm afraid you're going to replace me. Oliver and Eden don't need me; it never felt like they did. Eden was so good at handling everything. And now that they have you? There'll be no room for me. That's what I'm afraid of."

I open my mouth to argue, but he continues. "It's my dad all over again, you know that? You're here, so they want you. My dad constantly compared me to you, and never in a way that had me coming out on top. Why can't you get good grades in math like Callum? Why don't you play sports like Callum? You weren't even his son, but he loved you more."

"He didn't love me more. I promise. Once my mom and I left, I never saw him again. That's not love. What he loved, more than anything else, was saying things he knew would hurt people."

Justin's lips twist as he thinks this through. "He did, didn't he? He never censored his opinion, especially not when he knew it was in direct contrast to the person in front of him."

I'm a good listener, but what I'm even better at is taking action. Making a plan. The idea guy, according to Eden. And I'm afraid if Justin navel-gazes too long, he'll get stuck there. "What are you going to do about all this?"

"I can't figure out how to get where I want to go. Not after all the time I spent messing up."

"You love Oliver, right?"

He gives me a look. "Obviously."

"Then go to therapy. Figure your shit out. The only way to fix it, is to fix it."

"Poignant."

"It's simple, but it's not easy."

"I like easy."

"I know."

Justin gives me a look. "Since we're on the topic of people figuring their shit out... You wanna explain squatting in my cabin for two years?"

"Not particularly."

Justin sits back. Crosses his arms. Waits.

"Fine. I needed a place to go after a failed engagement. I was driving through northern Arizona, just trying to get away from everything, when I realized I was close to Snowflake. Some of my happiest childhood memories were in the cabin, believe it or not."

"Probably because it was the one place our parents didn't have the weirdest, loudest, most explosive fights."

"Yep."

"Are you still afraid of a monster in the lake?" He snickers.

"You'll be proud to know I swim in the lake now."