Page 28 of Elizabeth’s Choice

Elizabeth rode in silence but abruptly jumped off her horse and held the reins in her hand at Ashworth’s entrance, “I will not marry you, William. You should not waste any more of your time to pursue me since I know how you truly feel about my mother and my family is so beneath you. Miss Bingley was very beautiful and I could see why you thought to propose to her. You need not come back again tomorrow.”

Darcy dismounted his stallion and stood in front of her to ask, “Do you love me? Do you still love me, Elizabeth? Knowing what a faulty man I am, that I wounded you and we are constantly misunderstanding each other, do you still feel something for me?”

She wiped away her tears as she answered him, “If I am being completely honest with myself, yes, I still love you, William, but I know not how long this can last. I have such doubts.”

Darcy smiled as he lifted her gloved hand to kiss it affectionately, “That is all I need to hear from you. I will see you tomorrow, Elizabeth, and the day after that and after that. I will keep my promise to ride out with you every day and to be by your side, even if we should never marry. All I need is to be with you. I bid you a good day.”

He bowed gallantly and mounted his horse again, waiting until she was greeted by the stableboy and then took his leave, resolute to love her and to show his dedication until he could gain her trust once again.

Chapter 18

Elizabeth took another deep breath to hear her mother’s blathers on Sunday evening as the family was partaking a simple dinner together at Longbourn. Mrs. Bennet enthusiastically stated, “…will marry Mr. Bingley before Christmastime and reside in the largest mansion in Hertfordshire, and all of my neighbours will be jealous that my dearest Jane captured the wealthy bachelor so quickly. I saw Lady Lucas pressing Charlotte Lucas to catch his eye at their dinner yesterday but he only looked at you and now you are invited to dine with his sisters tomorrow! You should have seen him, Lizzie, and it is too bad that you missed the party at Lucas Lodge but I told everyone that you were too busy setting up your home. Ashworth is lovely and I am looking forward to another lovely dinner this week. How many courses will you…”

But Elizabeth stopped her mother and asked, “What did you say about Jane’s invitation tomorrow? She is invited to Netherfield?”

“Oh, yes!” she answered, “Miss Bingley wrote to her to beg for her company and although the gentlemen are dining out with the officers, it is a good sign that Mr. Bingley’s sisters want to know her better!”

Before Elizabeth could think further on it, Lydia, the fifteen-year-old girl, squealed, “Officers! The militia has finally arrived and we saw the troops arriving last week! They are so handsome!”

Elizabeth glanced at Jane who was smiling at her and rolling her eyes at Lydia’s silliness. Kitty, who was seventeen, readily agreed with the youngest girl. Elizabeth knew that they were far too obsessed in chasing after officers and prayed that the militia would find a reason to leave the peaceful county quickly.

Mrs. Bennet continued, “You cannot marry in December, Jane! You must have a lovely spring wedding when the best flowers will be in bloom! And there is the trousseau to prepare and we must have a grand breakfast!”

Mr. Bennet coughed as he intervened, “Perhaps we should let the young people speak a few more times before you plan an extravagant wedding, Mrs. Bennet. Mr. Bingley and Jane have met only four times and it takes longer than a fortnight for anyone to know someone enough to propose.”

“Yes, yes, but it was meant to be and something that had been planned for ten years! All my girls would have married by now if only Lizzie had been agreeable to marry your friend’s son years ago to throw all her sisters in the paths of other rich…” she suddenly stopped speaking and the room fell into utter silence.

Elizabeth wiped her mouth with the serviette and arose from her seat. “I believe I must return home now. Thank you for the lovely meal. I will see you on Tuesday for dinner at Ashworth.”

“Please, do not go,” her mother fussed. “I am sorry for bringing it up. I did not mean to offend and certainly do not blame you for anything. You have accomplished so much and I am just an old nag. I am sorry, child.”

Elizabeth walked over to her mother and kissed her cheek, “Thank you, mama. I must return home in any case.” She turned to Jane and said, “I hope you will have a pleasant visit with Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst. I have met them only briefly at the assembly and would love to get to know them better as well. Good night, everyone.”

She departed Longbourn, once again realising that she was truly alone and preferred being at Ashworth, but something was still missing in her life. She recalled the pleasant times at Pemberley and how William and Georgiana made her feel so loved, and tears fell from her eyes as she sat in her carriage to return to Ashworth.

She sat up straight, knowing that she was being silly, and with Jane’s move to Ashworth on Tuesday and Miss Darcy and Mrs. Annesley’s arrival on Wednesday, she would have more companionship and reminded herself that her loneliness was only temporary. She wished she could ride her horse and wondered if Mr. Darcy would agree to a race across the meadow the next day, and found herself anticipating her mornings with him, which had become her favourite time of the day.

~*~

On Tuesday morning, Elizabeth was about to walk to the stables for her ride when she saw Mr. Darcy speaking with the stableboy instead of remaining at his usual place by the front gate. She thought he might have come to discourage her from riding, since it had rained quite a bit last night, and was about to chastise him when he saw her and rushed over.

“I apologise for the early arrival and for entering the property without your prior approval, Elizabeth, but I wanted to alert you that your sister Jane apparently arrived at Netherfield on horseback last evening, sodden to the bone, and became ill and had to spend the night,” he stepped closer and spoke quietly, “I thought you might wish to see her and asked Frank to ready the carriage for you.”

Elizabeth was severely concerned for Jane and nodded her head, “Thank you, William. I must go and see her immediately. I can ride…”

Darcy leaned in and gently said, “I will wait for you and your carriage will be ready as soon as you change your clothes. I know how you wish to continue to keep your secret.”

She looked down and realised that she was wearing her gentleman’s garb and nodded again, “Thank you. Only my staff here know my preference and they are sworn to secrecy. I would not want Jane to be judged poorly due to my choice.” She reached for his ungloved hand and squeezed it, “Thank you, my William. You may come inside to wait for me,” and then hurried back into the house.

Darcy was beaming with joy to hear her call him “her” William again and entered Ashworth and stood in the foyer. It was a pleasant house with comfortable furnishings and he could see why Elizabeth liked it so much. Although this house was a fraction in size to Netherfield, he felt more bliss to be with her under the same roof again and prayed that she would forgive him soon.

He was greeted by the housekeeper, “I am Mrs. Goodwin. Welcome to Ashworth, Mr. Darcy. Can I offer you anything, sir?”

“No, nothing at all at this time, Mrs. Goodwin,” he replied. “I am only waiting for Miss Bennet in order to escort her to Netherfield.”

She only nodded and then rushed away to continue her duties and Darcy wondered how she knew who he was, but Elizabeth soon reappeared, wearing a morning dress and her hair tied in a low bun.

“Let us go now. Thank you for waiting,” Elizabeth stated. “Oh, but what will we tell the Netherfield party?”