Page 18 of Elizabeth’s Choice

Darcy cupped her face with both hands and pecked her lip, “I love you. I believe I loved you from the first moments of meeting you and would like to marry you. I know you said you have no desire to marry but I want you to marry me. I care not for society’s expectations and although my father wanted me to marry Bingley’s sister, I cannot go through with it because I am in love with you. I admire and love you, most ardently. Please marry me.”

Elizabeth wrapped her arms around his waist but shook her head, “I cannot and would never be a good wife to you, to anyone at all, in fact, and I know how much it means for you to obey your father’s last wish. Georgie told me that your father wrote explicitly of it and you will always regret it if you do not give Miss Bingley a chance. I am not worthy to be your wife…”

“But you are!” he argued. “You are what I need and I cannot fathom life without you. Although you would not be in fear for your future if you decide to marry Richard, I want you, Elizabeth. I do not want you to marry anyone but me.”

“I will not be marrying anyone at all, my William,” she laughed, “and I certainly have no idea how this is even happening. I did not mean to care for you. I did not mean to fall in love.”

“Do you love me? Say it again. Call me by name again,” Darcy commanded with a smile. “I am your William and will always be.”

Elizabeth grinned, “Do you know why I love you?” He shook his head as he wrapped his arms around her again and smiled back, “I love you, my William. I was in the middle of it before I realised it, but realising your humility when you apologised to me in Ramsgate, seeing you here at Pemberley, and after constantly showing me how generous you are, I began to love you because you made me feel so free. Colonel Fitzwilliam was always very kind and I felt safe with him as I would with a brother, but you made me feel protected and free to be myself here and you still accept me as I am without a second thought on how you might change me. I have become accustomed to wearing a dress but you encouraged me to be myself and do not mind that I wear my suit, and I love you for that. If anyone were to see us right now, we would look like two gentlemen!” she laughed loudly. “But if I am being honest, I care for you too much to burden you with an impertinent wife like me. You deserve better; a beautiful lady with whom you will not be ashamed to be seen in public.”

Darcy sighed as he released her, “I wish my father were alive to meet you. I wish I had kept a level head and instead of arguing with him that day, that I had been patient and perhaps even laughed it off so that I did not speak so bitterly at him. Then I would not be in such regret now and could marry you without any remorse.”

“Well, I will not accept you in any case so do not think further on it. I cannot think to marry anyone right now. I must figure out what I want for my future but we have time to sort this out for a while longer. See your Miss Bingley again and decide what you want to do then. You and I will not let our fancifulness get the better of us but enjoy our time together in the meanwhile,” she smiled as he held her hand to walk to their horses. “Where is your hat? Did you lose it on your way here?”

He chuckled as he replied, “It flew off while I was following behind you. How were you able to keep yours on?”

Elizabeth smiled “One benefit of having long hair beneath the hat is that I can pin it on so it never comes off. There are certain advantages of being a woman and I suppose this is one of them. Let us look for your hat, my William,” she squeezed his hand and continued. “What are we going to do? Should we keep this a secret from Georgie?”

Darcy held her in his arms again, “No, we will tell her that we have fallen in love but are evaluating our future together since we are both too stubborn in our ways. I plan on breaking off the understanding with Miss Bingley and will wait for you. There was never a formal courtship and I will not give you up. Until I can change your mind about marriage, I will be patient and will wait for you for as long as it takes and we will fall deeper in love. And we must plot for Richard and Miss Grey to fall in love with each other. That was my entire purpose of inviting her to dinner! She has been in love with Richard for years and he fancied her before meeting you so we must encourage affection between the two!”

They mounted their horses and spoke merrily on their return to the main house, not realising that they had a witness who saw them from afar.

Chapter 12

“I have something to give you, dearest,” Darcy whispered in Elizabeth’s ear while Georgiana was speaking with Mrs. Annesley, “Come to my study when you are done here.”

Georgiana glanced over at her brother and asked, “What do you whisper about there, brother? Are you going to whisk Lizzie away again? It is time for her music lesson now.”

Darcy grinned widely and held Elizabeth’s hand to kiss it and then wrapped it around his arm, “Five minutes, Georgie. I just need her for five minutes.”

Georgiana laughed, “You are a silly mooncalf! Go on. Five minutes!” And she resumed her conversation with her companion, “They are so in love and I hope they will announce their engagement soon. I know they have some obstacles to overcome but I cannot imagine a better wife for William and a sister for me!”

Darcy led Elizabeth to his study and kissed her ardently after closing the door. “I have not kissed you at all today and missed you,” he caressed her lower back, “and I do have a gift for you.”

Elizabeth could not think straight with the closeness but replied, “You need not give me any gifts, William. We should not be kissing so often but you are irresistible.” She fanned her face to cool herself and asked, “What do you have for me? You cannot possibly give me more dresses since I have too many now after the last dozen you ordered!”

“No, not dresses but something much smaller and more sentimental,” he retorted. “Close your eyes and hold out your hand.”

Elizabeth complied and felt a small object placed on her palm. She heard him say, “You can open your eyes now.”

She lifted her eyelids to see a small, shiny silver arrow and recognised it immediately, "My arrow! Is this my first arrow from London?” She turned it over and saw that it had been made into a brooch. “It is beautiful! You kept it this entire time?” She looked at him tearfully at the thoughtfulness.

He nodded his head with a bright grin, “Yes, I sent it to the jeweller last week and just got it back. I told you that the young girl had made an impression on me ten years ago and now, she is all I think about. Look at the inscription on the back. You told me that archery was your first but you are mine.”

She walked closer to the window for light and saw that there was writing on the back of the arrow, ‘my first love’ delicately engraved on it. “This is beyond thoughtful, William. I shall treasure it.”

“I treasure you, Elizabeth,” he easily replied, “and will give you everything you want. As soon as I arrive in Hertfordshire, I will talk to Bingley in order to court you publicly until I can win your hand.”

Elizabeth shook her head, “I would like for you to give Miss Bingley a chance. You found her desirable before and once you meet my family… They are not… not what you will find as a typical family of your station.”

Darcy soothed her as he kissed her cheek, “I am certain you have nothing to worry about. As long as we are together, what else matters more? You need not be concerned and there is no obstacle we cannot overcome. Every family has some deficiency, do they not?” He smiled tenderly at her.

Elizabeth sighed, “Some more than others…” She looked up at him and continued, “Let us return to Georgie. I do love the brooch and am grateful for your care.” They began walking back to the music room but she looked up with a gleam in her eye, “I have two more wishes left, do I not?”

Darcy chuckled, “You can wish for another thousand and I will gladly give them to you. What would you like next, my dear?”

“My next wish is for our time in Hertfordshire. When I was there last, I donned my dress every day and promised my mother to appear like a lady, and why I have been learning these skills that I never before thought valuable. I have been humbled by the many accomplishments that women are expected to achieve but will go mad if I cannot be honest to myself. Can I ask you to ride out with me as we do here? I am more than willing to don the disguise of a lady every day in front of others but will need to wear my suit to ride my horse and be my savage self at times, even if it is done in secret. It will remind you how impudent I am and might help you tolerate my family better.”