Page 12 of Elizabeth’s Choice

With Darcy’s blunt question, Anne only shrunk back in timidity as she silently shook her head. Darcy saw the frail woman of four and twenty years hiding behind her companion and scoffed at the idea of such a colourless, docile creature becoming his wife. He stated firmly to his aunt, “Anne nor I, neither of us, have any desire to marry each other. And as you are fully aware, Pemberley needs a steadfast mistress to oversee the needs of the many there. One more word about it and I shall depart Rosings Park to never set foot in here again. Now, aunt, let us have Georgiana play something on the pianoforte for us. I am certain you will not have heard such exquisite talent and I would like some music.”

After the grand lady motioned her approval in annoyance and Georgiana walked to the instrument to play, the colonel commented to Lady Catherine, “Darcy needs a wife who can stand up to him and give him an earful if he should misbehave, aunt. Although there are dozens of ladies who would jump at the chance of being noticed, I would wager that he has someone of a unique character on his mind, but, of course, no one will ever be good enough for Pemberley. I, on the other hand, am not so choosy and would be more than happy to become the Master of Rosings. I am in need of an estate and only need your encouragement. Am I not an excellent choice for Anne’s future happiness?”

Lady Catherine harped, “Cease your nonsense, Fitzwilliam! Be quiet so I can listen to Georgiana,” and then promptly crossed her arms in vexation.

After another half-hour of listening to Lady Catherine’s tedious complaints about her neighbours and how a new parson would be installed in a month, Darcy, Richard, and Georgiana finally returned to Sabrina Cottage. While the young lady turned in for bed after the lengthy evening, Darcy requested his cousin to join him in the library for a nightcap.

With their drinks in hand, Darcy asked, “I have a question for you. When you were speaking with Aunt Catherine about my requirements for a wife, you said I needed someone to stand up to me and that I am considering one with a unique character. What did you mean? Were you speaking of Caroline Bingley?”

Richard burst out in laughter, “She? Unique? Caroline Bingley is a shrew who is all too common and has no true accomplishments other than in over-decorating her dresses. She agrees with everything you say and does not have one sincere opinion when she is constantly licking your boots. I know you carry a tremendous guilt but cannot comprehend why you would choose to pursue her and are close to marrying that harridan. Do you not know who I mean? The one person that you think about constantly who makes your heart flutter?”

Darcy could feel his face warming but attempted to appear calm and said, “I have no idea what you are saying. Why would you suppose I think about her? Miss Elizabeth is…” he quickly shut his mouth.

“I knew it!” his cousin exclaimed, “I knew you were in love with her!” He chuckled and then gulped down the contents of his glass. He stood up and poured himself another drink as he continued seriously, “Did you really think I would not notice? I initially thought you despised her because of her choices in life but saw the way you watched her. You were exactly like I was when I first met her; full of intrigue and awe as your respect grew and then suddenly you realised no one else could hold a candle to her. I was in your shoes two years ago and every time I see her, I think I admire her more.”

Darcy sat quietly, not knowing how to respond to Richard, but when his cousin did not say anything further, asked, “And how do you feel about that? Are you going to challenge me to a duel? You know I have no intention of marrying a woman like her, right? I know not if I am in love with her but am certain that I simply cannot marry someone so ill-qualified.”

Richard laughed as he replied, “And thus why there is no need for a duel. You are too stubborn to know what is good for you when you see it and I know she will not tolerate your arrogant ways. I am glad she will be spending the full summer at Pemberley. You will learn all you can about her and fall madly in love with her but she will never be good enough in your eyes and that will be that. She is a great friend to Georgie and I still have hope to win her when I see her again in September. I love her and feel protective of her but she worries that her freedom might be taken away, but I will continue my efforts to convince her that her future will be secure with me. I do think you would be a good husband to her but you have your regrets about your father and will not be able to overcome your pride to choose her. I only wish for her happiness and if you wound her in any way, I just might challenge you to a duel.”

“Perhaps you do not truly love her,” Darcy quipped. “Are you not concerned that she might want to marry me for my fortune?”

He laughed again, “She has no need for your fortune so I have little fear on that part. I am not the first to pursue her and certainly will not be the last. Several rich men saw her as a prize to be won and wanted her but she was too intelligent for them and I highly doubt your wealth and Pemberley will tempt her unless you are worthy of her.”

He faced Darcy and continued, “I want the best for her and as my dear cousin, I want the best for you, so I will give you a chance to see if you can earn her respect. I pursued her fervently during the first year of meeting her and nearly gave up, but she has such a sweetness of character mixed with archness, that I grew to respect her more as an intelligent, sensible lady, who is an excellent archeress and conversationalist. I can talk to her about every topic out there and she is thoughtful about philosophy and religion and even surpasses my knowledge in sciences. I love her but have lately discovered that I might not be enough for her and why, perhaps, I wish for my cousin to succeed where I have failed if you are able to gain her esteem.” Richard smiled at Darcy, “I want you to find someone worthy and no one is worthier than Miss Elizabeth, but I know not if you can see it for yourself. She is obstinate and enjoys her independence, and you worry far too much about your reputation to break off the understanding with Miss Bingley. Did you know that as soon as she is of age in March, she plans on buying an estate for her family in her name, and why would she give that up for a husband who will take her choices away from her?”

Darcy scowled and asked, “How is she able to have the money to afford an estate? I thought her father was a landowner of a small parcel in Hertfordshire. Why did she leave her parents for five years?”

Richard answered, “I know not of the particulars but mama said she quarrelled with her mother and neither would relent so she begged her father to allow her to live with her uncle and aunt in town. Her father gained some fifty thousand pounds from several speculations with the late Mr. Bingley and he gave her dowry early as well as an additional twenty thousand pounds, and adding her winnings from her archery competitions, she grew it to thirty thousand and then invested it to increase it to forty thousand. She has a knack for numbers and went to the London Stock Exchange directly to make several connections as well and she has not said much about it but I think she has another ten or twenty thousand to her name.”

“How is that possible? Would her father not own everything, then?” Darcy enquired in awe.

“He gave her full control over it and as soon as she is of age, everything will be hers,” the colonel explained. “Mr. Bennet raised her like a son and is all for her choices. She wants to have property in her own name to separate it from the entailment and you can try to win her all you wish, but any ordinary man would be too tempted by her wealth and if she were to marry, she would be giving up everything to marry an unworthy man.”

“You are not tempted? She would be perfect for you, since not only do you love her but you need to marry an heiress,” Darcy bluntly stated.

Richard laughed louder as he stood up, “Why do you think I have been trying so hard for two years? No, she will not have me because she is far too understanding of the world. But I love her so much that I will continue to woo her and try to convince her that I would give her everything she wants. As a daughter to an earl, my parents would be able to guide her and she would win the respect of many, to be accepted wherever she goes and I would also protect her.” He looked at his cousin and tipped his head, “Well, I am off to bed. I need to figure out if there is a way to marry Anne for Rosings Park. I jest! I would like an heiress that I can actually bed. No amount of money or spirits can seduce me to marry our cousin!”

His cousin’s laughter could be heard as he left the room and Darcy remained in his seat. He thought about Miss Elizabeth and how accomplished she was in the subjects that truly mattered, but he wondered if she fascinated him only due to her singularity or if there was more that would remain after the initial interest faded away. He thought of fencing with her only a few days ago and how she breathed rapidly after the exercise. He recalled her exposed neck after she took off her cravat and his body jerked in the all too-familiar response that only men experienced.

He shook his head after finishing his drink and talked to himself, “Get your head on straight, Fitzwilliam Darcy. She is the last woman you should be chasing and can never marry in any case.”

Darcy went to sleep in his bedchamber, attempting to think about anything else but Elizabeth Bennet, but then dreamt of participating in a private lesson, not in archery but in horse-riding, holding her closely in his arms as he kissed her neck.

~*~

“It seems time speeds faster when I wish it to slow down most,” Mr. Bennet tenderly spoke to his daughter while standing in his study. “Your help has been instrumental to organise the ledgers and to ensure that the estate is running smoother than ever before. I will truly miss you when you leave tomorrow, Lizzie, and hope you will stay with us again while Ashworth is being prepared for you.”

Elizabeth smiled, “I plan on arriving in early October and will try to stay at Longbourn if I arrive before Ashworth is ready, but I will see you often and will come to borrow books from your library when least expected! You will not get rid of me so easily, since I will only be five miles away.”

“And your relationship with your mother has improved and you have been doing better than I expected in giving up your trousers while you are here. Except for the first day, you have not worn your suit at all,” her father chuckled.

“I have been paying penance for being an awful daughter and it was the one and only thing she asked of me this entire week so how could I not comply? I use a pseudonym in town so that only a few people know me as a Bennet and would hate for any criticisms to reach mama’s and my sisters’ ears. I am finding myself getting used to pretending to be a lady and am thinking of learning some of the skills of a gentlewoman now. But thank you for giving me the choice, papa. I could not have done any of it without you and if I am able to obtain Ashworth, it will be a dream come true. It is nearly the same size as Longbourn to easily accommodate our entire family and I would be learning a great deal on how to manage my own household. I could not have dreamt of it without your guidance and I know I caused many of your grey hairs,” she hugged her father. “I do wish you would accept my repayment. I consider it a loan that I was able to use your twenty thousand pounds to be able to grow it so much during the past five years.”

Mr. Bennet rubbed her back, “It was an investment for my family and is yours to keep, Lizzie. You did all the work to do increase it and I am so proud of you. It was my fault and you were only fifteen and I should have taken your side. The opportunity to marry into such a family… but you were bright and courageous and made something of yourself and I should not have allowed your mother to force you into your decision. She regretted it many times, you must know, but our Bennet ladies have a will of their own and I am learning to bend and sway so that I can be more patient with all the ladies in my life. She does not know about all the proposals you declined and I will not say a word about it. I have such regrets, my dear. It was all my fault… I should not have pressed.”

“Oh, papa, I know your intention was sincere but I needed to grow on my own terms and to see and meet people in town, and I know I am far too stubborn and prejudiced to be forced into anything even now. And I know the world turns a blind eye to the needs of a woman but only dictates how she should feel and act. I just cannot comprehend how sensible, learned men cannot see that women have some intelligence and sensibilities as well.” Elizabeth stepped back, “I will try harder but you must know that me in a dress is not the real me.”

“I understand and support your choices fully, Lizzie. Whether you wear skirts or trousers, even if you wish to cut your hair at this point, you must go out into the world and find your own path and I believe you are doing it. In my opinion, you are a truly accomplished woman, but I would like to let you in on a little secret,” he winked.