Page 84 of Eight of Swords, Part Two

‘Well,’ Lachlan whispers. ‘You did shoot me in the face.’

Kade smiles, eyes wet. ‘I did, yeah.’

‘Excellent shots, by the way.’

‘Mm.’

‘You’re pretty lethal.’

‘Not like you.’

‘I wouldn’t ever want you to be. I’m numb to it at this point. Your empathy was always your biggest strength. I’d hate to see you lose it.’

‘Do you know what scares me?’

‘Tell me.’

‘It scares me,’ Kade says, ‘that I’m just a little bit of the man you loved.’

Lachlan shakes his head, cupping Kade’s cheek. Rough skin, warm and wet. He’s clean now and the water is dirty and it’s an imperfect process, but Kade wouldn’t change it for anything.

‘You’re you. Cells and water and bones and fire, my cascading fury. Julian. Kade. Any name. Doesn’t matter. I love you. Maybe that’s wrong, I don’t know.’ His thumb caresses lightly back and forth across Kade’s cheek. His eyes are like fire in the dark. ‘But I can’t not love you. I wouldn’t know where to start.’

‘But you don’t...’ Kade utters, his throat clenching hard, forcing him to trail off. Lachlan seems to read his mind anyway.

‘I don’t need to know you to love you.’

‘I’m not him.’

‘You’re you, and I’d know you anywhere.’

‘What if it’s just the mechanisms? The body.’

‘Soul bleeds into everything,’ Lachlan whispers.

‘When you say love...’ Kade takes a deep breath that stalls.

‘Go on.’

‘Do you mean in love?’ Kade’s own certainty spirals to crest sky-high inside. He knows it just from the looks, the way Lachlan is with him. Kade can feel it, but he needs to hear it too. ‘Were you in love with him?’

Lachlan sighs from somewhere deep as he brushes Kade’s hair back.

‘I always was, always will be.’

Kade lets his eyes fall shut. ‘I can feel it.’

Lachlan’s fingers caress his jaw, feather-light. ‘I failed you. Everyone.’

‘We can make it right.’

‘How?’

‘I don’t know, but I just feel so hopeful when you’re near me,’ Kade confesses delicately. ‘Like there’s good in the world and I forgot about it. You make me feel bright things again. You make me feel...’

‘What?’

‘Wanted.’