Page 7 of Eight of Swords, Part Two

Kade has actual tears in his eyes. ‘How often do you feel this?’

‘The last few years, not so much. But now that Tanner’s back—’

‘Back?’ Kade shifts closer, searching the face of the man opposite him. ‘Riley, I know you know him. Tell me. Find a way, you have to. I can’t stand that you know so much I don’t.’

‘I’m trying. It’s easier to control when you’re not near.’

‘That doesn’t help.’

‘I know. I’m sorry. Look, there’s no way I can tell you certain things, OK?’ Riley informs him with obvious emphasis. ‘But I can tell you some things.’

Kade has a distinct feeling that what Riley can tell him isn’t what he wants to know at all. ‘How do you know Lachlan?’

‘Kade, stop.’

‘Why doesn’t he know you? Did he forget? Did Jules—?’

The pain hits like a punch that time.

It lands hard and brutal right in the middle of his body, his solar plexus curling in on itself like a dying star. Kade tries to breathe, but he’s viciously winded, can’t get air inside his body when it’s locked up. Despite the anger Kade feels at being kept in the dark, he can’t help looking up at Riley, finding those clear blue eyes that always make him feel safe.

‘I’m so sorry you felt this alone,’ he pants.

Riley shakes his head. ‘I wasn’t alone. We’re always connected.’ He looks down at his hands interlinked with Kade’s. His knuckles carry the bruises, the torn skin. It wasn’t Riley’s fight, but he wears the wounds.

It’s astronomically unfair.

‘I’ve been hurt so much,’ Kade says. ‘You felt all of it?’

‘We shared it.’

Kade turns Riley’s hands over, his thumb brushing over the damage.

His own knuckles are barely even bruised anymore.

‘What happens if you get hurt?’

‘With practice, I’ve learnt to contain the smaller things. Bruises. Cuts. Headaches. The Knot answers distress before damage,’ Riley tells him, ‘so if I expect the pain, accept it and keep my body from recognising it as a threat, it stays with me. It doesn’t cross to you.’

Kade watches him closely.

‘This is why you never fight, isn’t it? To keep me safe.’

‘It’s part of it, yes.’ Riley’s throat bobs. ‘There are other reasons to exert such control, but this was why it was easier to make you my bodyguard.’

‘I never thought for a second that you were a coward.’

‘I know that.’

‘Neither does anyone else.’

‘I don’t care what they think,’ Riley says honestly. ‘I care what you think, which is why I’m going to try and share what I can now.’

‘Whatever you can tell me.’

‘Most of it’ll sound ridiculous.’ Riley seems strangely nervous, almost skittish. ‘Just stay with me, yeah?’

Kade settles himself. ‘Always.’