Page 318 of Eight of Swords, Part Two

On the back of a broken breath, Lachlan says, ‘I don’t love you, baby,’ and the last lie breaks the world apart.

Jules crashes into his mouth with a sob, and Lachlan breaks with him, all that discipline and terror and restraint finally giving way beneath the unbearable relief of giving in. He kisses Jules, dragging him closer, deeper, pouring every forbidden truth between their lips while warm water and tears run together over their faces. Jules keeps one hand pressed over his heart, and beneath it the lie betrays him again and again and again.

His body betrays him.

Heart and soul too. They’re sick of his shit.

Julian traps him there, kisses harsh and desperate, punishing, teeth and tongue while the water from above never stops, barely letting either of them breathe. What a beautiful way to be waterboarded, to have the truth dragged from him the way no one else ever could.

The taste of him, the way he kisses… Lachlan has never known love like it, never will again. Never and nowhere and no one but Julian Penhalyx.

‘Liar,’ Jules whispers, hand clawing over his heart, nails breaking the skin in little half-moons of gentle possession. ‘This is mine.’

Lachlan flips them, lifts him beneath the thighs and presses him into the wall. So much better this way, and Jules is less drenched, less drowned.

‘Tell me it’s mine, Bodyguard.’

‘It’s yours,’ he answers, can’t help but give him this one thing.

It makes Jules greedy for more. Lachlan should have known.

‘Tell me we’re going to figure this out.’

He wants to promise that.

He wants to make plans and be brave enough to see them through, to trust he can do this and survive. He wants to tell Jules that once they’re away from here, he’ll take him someplace beautiful and show him how good life can really get because this boy did everything Lachlan did for him and so much more.

He brought him to life.

He made him want better.

Melted his heart of stone into living flesh.

He wants to tell Jules that they’ll get through this together.

More than anything, he wants to tell him that something is wrong and let Jules help because this boy would do anything and everything he could to save him. Lachlan sees that now. He understands what he didn’t before.

Wants to tell him all that and more.

But it would be a lie.

It would all be a lie, and Jules would feel it.

And it takes everything he has to put a hand on Jules’ chest in turn, to make distance between them, to push him carefully away.

It takes everything he has to deny him when he pleads.

To gently say, ‘No,’ and draw the line between them.

To hurt him.

To knowingly hurt this beautiful boy, this man he loves, who is so much stronger than Lachlan Tanner could ever dream of being.

It takes everything.

Some deaths don’t draw blood.

This is one of them.